


Dead kids---> Be Alive Again

by argumentativeArtisan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, I s2g they aren't that big, M/M, Post-Canon, SBURB, Theres a shitton of relationships i didn't list them all, quadrants, redrom, the cherubs are exposistion fairies, there are more OCs now oh dear, there is one oc but do not fret he isn't that major of a character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10059899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argumentativeArtisan/pseuds/argumentativeArtisan
Summary: The dead trolls, Davesprite, Hal and the dead Vriska killed by Terezi are all alive again. And human. While the winners of the game are well into their new lives on Earth C, everyone else was thrown into yet another Sburb session. The Gamma universe, to be exact, with the aid of Davesprite's mostly intact memory and the also alive again dancestors, there mission is to come out with all of them alive this time





	1. Kids----> Play Sburb

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and I have finally descended into the depths of hell by writing this. Anyways, I'll try to post a chapter every week at least, maybe more than that if I get more done. The oc is basically around for reasons of the plot that will later be revealed. I doubt he'll be romantically involved with anyone so he won't be used for a love triangle or drama, he's there because the plot demands a way to reveal info the main characters don't have. No he's not omniscient.

 

Your name is **Vriska Serket** , and they have won the game. Though, you aren’t entirely sure what game, or who ‘they’ are. 

 

Your name is  **Vanesa Spears** and you continuously have odd thoughts like those and you are unsure of where they come from. 

Today is your sixteenth birthday, but you feel plenty older than that. You are supposed to be doing something right now, but can’t seem to remember what it is. 

You have a variety of interests including Live Action Roleplay which you studiously cheat at. You also enjoy, Nick Cage movies, the number 8 and collecting various things associated with said number. Mostly magic 8 balls, you collect all the magic 8 balls, all of them. You have many irons in the fire but seem to be at a loss for what that exactly means, and what the fuck irons have to do with anything. Everything is confusing you today.

**Vanesa-------- > be omniscient narrator.**

You cannot be omniscient narrator however they can relate the current events to the reader. 

The omniscient narrator is choosing to tell you very little, but you are now aware that today is a very important day and likely to change the course of several lives. To be specific, there are 8 of them. 

For irony’s sake

Vanesa, as previously mentioned, is supposed to be doing something, she is supposed to be contacting her friend, but is distracted by the buzzing of her phone, someone is pestering her. 

 

turntechGodhead(TG) **has started pestering** arachnidsGrip(AG) 

 

TG: yo 

TG: bro dont leave me hanging 

TG: come on you always have that phone on you

TG: im actually convinced its glued to your damn hand

AG: Whaaaaaaaat?

TG: did you fucking count out eight a’s

TG: my god you did

AG: I’m sorry, is there something wrong with 8?

TG: only that you worship it like my bro worshiped puppets

AG: I thought you lived with your mom

TG: i do

TG: because bros six feet under

TG: so is my sister, any other personal and emotionally draining questions you want to ask?

AG: I don’t remember you being this forthcoming ab8ut y8ur pers8nal life

TG: jegus grist why did you start using eights instead of o

AG: The fuck is a jegus grist

Tg: the fuck is up with the eights

Ag: Wh8t

TG: did you just

TG: you know what

TG: forget it 

TG: anyways, i’m supposed to remind you that you have to talk to CA

AG: Bl8h

AG: Th8t’s riiiiiiiight I have to talk to him ab8ut the stupid game he wants us all to play

TG: just do it and make the fishie happy

AG: N8t you too!

AG: CC and CT have been bugging me constantly about talking to him!

TG: why?

AG: 8ecause he has no friends and they are the only ones capable of listening to him for any length of time.

AG: aaaaaaaand he’s an annoying little fuck8r

TG: fair point

TG: but play the game

TG: trust me on this

turntechGodhead **has ceased pestering** arachnidsGrip

AG:Waaaaaaaait

AG:Dean????????

AG: The fuck is that supposed to m8an!!!!????

 

**Be Vanesa again --------- > **

 

You are once again Vanesa and you are thoroughly annoyed. St8pid Strider and his meddling and fussing. And you do n8t use an inappropriate amount of eights. Or at least, you didn’t used to… 

Wh8tever , you suppose if you  _ have  _ to play the game, you will, if only to make Strider get off your dick ab8ut it. But you don’t really know how to start, it’s probably time to talk to  _ him. _

**Vanesa, contact “fri8nd”-------- > **

Friend, even is quotation marks is a stretch. Maybe ‘mutually annoyed people who have known eachother for a long time’ is more acur8. 8ut that is rather long and tedious to ty8e so frienemies will have to do. Regardless, you pester that guy.

 

arachnidsGrip(AG) **started pestering** caligulasAquarium(CA)

  
AG: EEEEEEEElijaaaaaaaah

AG: Answ8r me dick prince!

CA: Wwhat could you possibly wwant

AG: Dean is forcing me to play the game but i don’t even know where to get it

CA: And wwhy wwould I tell you anyfin

CA: *thing

CA: Wwait, wwhy are you putin 8’s in places it don’t even make sense to put ‘em in?

AG: I d8n’t know, why do you stutter like Tavion? 

CA: That wwas loww

CA: An I’m not evven sure who got it worse, me or Tav. 

AG: You.

CA: Wwhatevver, it’s in your mailbox

CA: Probubbly. 

CA: Damnit *probably

AG: W8y would it be in my mailbox

CA: Because wwe got it for you an paid some loser to hack your email so wwe could send it to you. 

AG: Couldn’t you have just gott8n a fucking online code????????

CA: Nah, this wwas more fun

CA: Plus it’s from like 2009 an like fucking impossible to find. 

CA: You’re wwelcome.  

AG: Th8t was only 8 years ago fucker. 

CA: And it sold out

CA: Then the company tanked for some reason 

CA: So wwe had to buy used copies

CA: Got yours from some douche called ‘yuriEnthusiast’ 

AG: Wh8tever, fine, I’m going to go get it and start playing. 

CA: Okay, but fyi you need a servver player 

CA: Pretty sure TG is already planning on connecting to you as soon as you got the game dowwnloaded. 

CA: I don’t know if CC is gonna be mine. 

CA; Shit, gotta check in on her

 

caligulasAquarium(CA) **ceased pestering** arachnidsGrip(AG)

 

AG: H8y I got it

AG: W8it what’s a server pl8yer?

AG: Elijah? 

AG: Fucking

AG:esasgshgjdk

  
  


**Be annoyed eight girl-------- >**

 

You are already the annoyed eight girl and these flighty boys and their mysterious horseshit are seriously fucking with your think pan. Head. You meant head. Or did you? 

This is no time to contemplate such nonsense! 

 

**Vanesa: Put the disk into your laptop------- >**

 

You would do this but you do not have a laptop, you have a school issued chromebook and they fucking suck. Instead you use your mom’s laptop, which you have craftily stolen on your trip back from the perilous outside. It is only perilous to your generally solitary nature, your mom is absent as usual, but there were plenty of annoying neighbors to dodge anyway. 

So now you wait, and hope something fantastic happens


	2. Vanesa--------> Be the orange flighty boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp here's ch 2. I still don't know how to get pictures in here. I'll figure it out eventually

 

**Vanesa-------- > Be the orange flighty boy**

 

You are now the orange flighty boy and you do not really apreciate the nickname

 

Enter Name: 

Douche Mcshizzle

Try again jack ass

Enter Name: 

Dean Strider

 

Your name is   **Dean Strider** and you are completely aware that the name guessing thing was both for nostalgic purposes and plain tomfoolery. Your are also aware that you previously were Davesprite, and a very long time ago (or at least it feels like), you were even Alpha Dave. But you changed that, didn’t you? 

You named yourself Dean for sake of originality, also because the game has deemed you so vastly different from Alpha Dave that you aren’t comfortable just being another him. You are you, and you is different. 

You woke up this morning with intrusive thoughts about the game you planned to play later, and because of this, you remembered everything but you think you always knew something wasn’t right. 

It’s hard to put together full thoughts now, you keep getting distracted. 

 

**Davesprite** **Dean: Reminisce on life in this world**

Although you see little purpose for this and would rather not, you find yourself drifting into your memories. 

You were told that at age 2, you and your twin sister were unceremoniously dumped in a park. The only reason you were found is because a dog tried to eat you, specifically your arm, which you no longer have. Lucky for you, your Bro and mom happened to be searching for where the fuck they came from, and happened to trace their genetics to you two, you had been in an orphanage until bro and mom claimed relation to the both of you and took you out of there.  This set up of Bro and mom working together made life way easier on you and Rose. You’d think a fucking weeb with a puppet fetish and a drunk ass genius would make terrible parents. And they were, but less so together. 

You look around your room and your eyes settle on your dresser. It’s plain, tall and despite you having just mentioned that you were looking at it, your focus is actually on the nightmarish smuppet on top. You fucking hate it, and not for the first time, you contemplate throwing it away.

But that’d piss your brother off. Not Bro, he’s definitely dead, no, you mean Dallas, who is named for sake of irony. You know he was once Dirk’s auto responder but now a days he’s just a punk ass six year old with more intelligence than he probably should be trusted with. You call him Hal, you think that was the AR’s name anyway. Hal’s mysterious appearance coincided with Bro’s death, mom came home, said he died, gave you and Rose a toddler and then proceeded to drown her grief in vodka. Hal is a smart kid, but he gets lost in his own mind quite often, these daydreams often manifest in his horrific creations he insists are art. Smuppets aren’t art, no matter how many times you’ve said it, he still guilted you into keeping one in your room. 

This particular monstrosity was purple with a black scarf and cat ears. Yes, cat ears, it’s terrible. But it was Rose’s and she found a sarcastic and somewhat motherly love for the thing. 

Rose was still an open wound. 

A wound you do not currently feel inclined to elaborate on for the sake of plot and your own mental stability

Instead you remember you actually have stuff to do, you prick, and check your pesterchum. 

  
  


**Dean---- > answer chum **

 

arsenicCatnip (AC) **has begun pestering** turntechGodhead (TG)

 

AC:  :33 < *ac stalks the bird and wonders why he hasn’t sent her the furry impurtant chart yet*

TG: jesus christ Nataly no

TG: not today

AC: :33< fine

AC: :33< wait! im not answering you until you use the other name!

TG: god, you fuck up once and look what happens

TG: Nepeta

AC: :33< isn’t that better? 

TG: no

TG: no it’s not

TG: anyway im almost done with it give me a minute i gotta connect to AG

AC: :33< wait! ive already got my game installed, what should i do?

TG: just connect to CT i already put that in the chart. 

AC: :33< as his server or client?

TG: wait a sec i finished it

TG  **has linked an image to the conversation**

TG: did you get it

AC: :33< yes but whos the squiggly thingy next to your record. 

AC: :33< and why did you use our zodiac signs? 

AC: :33< i know mine and CT’s but who am i connecting to? 

TG: shit thats the old one wait a sec

TG  **has linked an image to the conversation**

TG: you’re connecting to AG

TG: tell CT he needs to connect to CA

AC: :33< Dean

TG: what

AC: :33< the arrows are going the wrong way

TG: fuck

TG: i’ll fix it and open a group chat in a few

TG: i don’t wanna explain shit twice

AC: :33< ok! talk to mew soon!

 

arsenicCatnip(AG)  **has ceased pestering** turntechGodhead(TG)

  
  


**Dean---- > Fix the fucking chart again**

 

You have already fixed the damned thing and wish that you didn’t have to create it in the first place. Unfortunately, human or not, the trolls were extremely prone to competitivity so the best way you could get all of them on board the Sburb hell train part 2. You hear quite a loud knocking sound from your bedroom door and proceed to answer it.

Unsurprisingly, it is Hal, and he is such a little shit. He has those stupid anime glasses for one, for two, he’s still got his rainbow dash backpack on and three, he’s in the fucking tutu. 

You gave it to him last year as a gag gift, but he loved it, originally, you allowed him to wear it to school, but kids were trying to pick on him, key word being  _ trying.  _ He judo flipped a 4th grader, you’re not even sure how, you didn’t teach him that. Yet.  Anyways, you banned it from school to save the ego’s of the little pimples that were teasing him, until a teacher mentioned a few months ago how it was good that someone was getting him to be more masculine. You said he could wear it to school the next day with the my little pony bag and a bigass bow on his head. 

You also gave him a note for the teacher that more eloquently said ‘fuck you and fuck your masculinity up the ass, preferably with a cactus’. Shit was damn right poetic.  Crap, you’ve just been staring at the kid.

 

**Dean---- > Talk to Hal**

 

“sup nerd” you say to the small figure, he sighs in a breathy little kid way, and starts to speak.

 

“I’ll ignore that for now, but where’s my donuts?” Oh yeah, you told him you’d get donuts for this morning. Did you? Yeah, you did, they are next to the fucking smuppet, you retrieve the donuts and hand them to the dork. 

“Thanks bro, I’ll be ready for school in like 20, ‘kay?” he responds

“ Don’t bother” you tell him 

“You aren’t going to school today” He seems confused, but has long since given up trying to figure out your bullshit.

He leaves with a small shrug and you return to your laptop. It’s so weird, knowing he was a computer. Of course you didn’t know this until this morning, so it’s expected that you aren’t used to it, but you don’t think that’s the issue. He sounds like a softer voiced and higher pitched Dirk. Also, he much more animated when he talks, like, to people who haven’t met Dirk he sounds monotone, but, wow his voice is so much more blah than Hal’s. Maybe you’re biased, you know Hal better than Dirk. 

Oh yeah, you have to open a memo, don’t you? 


	3. Motel Routy Frumpus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whhhoooop ch 3 and i'm losing my mind. oh well, here's the OC and a secret person who will remain unnamed for now

 

turntechGodhead (TG) **opened memo** MOTEL ROUTY FRUMPUS

TG: ok fuckers, this is it 

TG: me AG, AT, my buddy you don’t know yet are one team

TG: the red team

TG: CC, AC,CT and CA are the blue team

CC: not to be rude but w)-(y t)-(e s)-(ell are we playing a game wit)-( someone most of us don’t know?

TG:because i know him, he wants to play and because we need an even number of players

CA: wwhy do wwe need specifically an evven number?

TG: because everyone must be a server and client player at once

TG: and mobius double reacharound doesn’t work without it 

AG: the fuck is that stridork 

TG: none of your fucking business if you’re gonna be an ass

CT: D---> I w00d appreciate you e%ercising restraint when using l00d language. 

AG: I’8 apr8ciate you not shoving your sweaty horse ass in the conversation unless you’r8 being useful

AC: :33< wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the kitty bed

AT: uH THAT WASN’T EVEN A PUN, NEPETA

TG: sup dude we haven’t seen you in like a million years

AT: I ACUally tALKED tO yOU lAST WEEK

AG: I feel lik8 we are getting r8ally off topic

AC: :33< nyah let's talk about how AG put the 8 in apreciate in place of the e instead of for the ate

AG: fuck

TG: lol you got owned by the fucking cat girl

AG: on the topic why are we calling AC Nepeta?

CT: How did you acquire that information?

AC: :33< its my furrsona’s name! 

AC: :33< TG gave me the idea

AG: Fairy b8y  _ just  _ fucking typed it

AG: I8 the sw8eat impairing your abili8y to think now? 

TG: I fucked up and told her the scientific name for catnip 

AG: which isssssss?

TG: Nepeta cataria

AG: Th8nks for giving her a nam8 for that abomin8tion

AC: :33< wow, i’d be offurrnded if i didn’t expect that from mew

TG: jesus christ can you all just talk normally, for once?

AG: fuck 8ff

AC: :33< *shakes head vigoriously*

CT: D---> I do not type in a undignified manner

AT: uH I GUESS I COULD TRY

CA: wweren’t you supposed to be showwin us somfin

CA: thing

CC: )-(e was supposed to tell us about )-(ow we are getting into the game!

CC: I don’t reely know what he means by “into the game” but I think it’s very exciting!

TG: oh yeah.

TG: one sec

TG **has linked an image**

turntechGodhead (TG) **opened memo** MOTEL ROUTY FRUMPUS

TG: ok fuckers, this is it 

TG: me AG, AT, my buddy you don’t know yet are one team

TG: the red team

TG: CC, AC,CT and CA are the blue team

CC: not to be rude but w)-(y t)-(e s)-(ell are we playing a game wit)-( someone most of us don’t know?

TG:because i know him, he wants to play and because we need an even number of players

CA: wwhy do wwe need specifically an evven number?

TG: because everyone must be a server and client player at once

TG: and mobius double reacharound doesn’t work without it 

AG: the fuck is that stridork 

TG: none of your fucking business if you’re gonna be an ass

CT: D---> I w00d appreciate you e%ercising restraint when using l00d language. 

AG: I’8 apr8ciate you not shoving your sweaty horse ass in the conversation unless you’r8 being useful

AC: :33< wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the kitty bed

AT: uH THAT WASN’T EVEN A PUN, NEPETA

TG: sup dude we haven’t seen you in like a million years

AT: I ACUally tALKED tO yOU lAST WEEK

AG: I feel lik8 we are getting r8ally off topic

AC: :33< nyah let's talk about how AG put the 8 in apreciate in place of the e instead of for the ate

AG: fuck

TG: lol you got owned by the fucking cat girl

AG: on the topic why are we calling AC Nepeta?

CT: How did you acquire that information?

AC: :33< its my furrsona’s name! 

AC: :33< TG gave me the idea

AG: Fairy b8y  _ just  _ fucking typed it

AG: I8 the sw8eat impairing your abili8y to think now? 

TG: I fucked up and told her the scientific name for catnip 

AG: which isssssss?

TG: Nepeta cataria

AG: Th8nks for giving her a nam8 for that abomin8tion

AC: :33< wow, i’d be offurrnded if i didn’t expect that from mew

TG: jesus christ can you all just talk normally, for once?

AG: fuck 8ff

AC: :33< *shakes head vigoriously*

CT: D---> I do not type in a undignified manner

AT: uH I GUESS I COULD TRY

CA: wweren’t you supposed to be showwin us somfin

CA: thing

CC: )-(e was supposed to tell us about )-(ow we are getting into the game!

CC: I don’t reely know what he means by “into the game” but I think it’s very exciting!

TG: oh yeah.

TG: one sec

TG **has linked an image**

**  
  
  
**

TG: Fucking finally

TG: you have no idea how long this took

CA: looks pretty easy if you ask me

TG: well i didn’t, did i? 

TG: anyway, so you just gotta be the server for the guy in front of you and the person behind you is your server.

AG: what about the ends

AC: :33< he can’t explain if we are talking on the side

AC: :33< basically, shut up

AG: bl8h, fine

TG: jesus, so the people on the left end connect to the people on the right end

TG: simple enough?

CC: i don’t know astrological symbols, which is mine? 

TG: someone straight up kill me

AG: I call it!

TG: fuck me man my bro is already up to murder me

TG: i can tell this is going to be an interesting session

TG: heres the break down

TG: CC -CA-CT-AC

TG: got that? 

CC: I looked it up! I’m pisces!

TG: i know

CA: so I’m an aquarius?

AG: you kn8w the sign sym8ols but didn’t know your sign? 

CA:  i wwatch a lot a fairytail

TG: you fucking weeb

CA: says the kettle to the pot

TG: ok, so we are getting derailed again

TG: the other team’s make up is AG-TG-MM-AT and then theres the other two

TG: AT will connect to CC and AC will connect to AG. 

TG: there, you guys got it?

AT: wHO’S MM?

TG: that’s my friend

TG: kind of

TG: anyway his tag is matrixMayhem and he types in a hideous shade of pink

TG: he used to type in blue but got pissy at me and changed it

AG: wh8t ever can we be done n8w

TG: sure just get me into the game jackass.

AG: l8ter losers

TG **Ended the memo**

**  
  
  
  
  
**

 

**Dean---- > Be matrixMayhem **

  
  


Enter name: Dicklord AssLamp

TRY AGAIN, SMARTASS

Enter name: Case McClain 

 

Your name is CASE MCCLAIN, you are SIXTEEEN but currently appear to be prepubescent. Well, actually, you look about 13 for reasons you currently will not elaborate on. 

You have a variety interests, but currently, you have only one concern, not dying. However, this task is easier said than done when you are trapped in a void Sburb session and hurtling toward god knows what on a fucking meteor. You used to type in blue but now type in a terrible shade of pink and your grammar is less than reliable because you have run out of fucks to give.

You still engage in one of your previously skipped over interests and that is OBSESSING over CONSPIRACY THEORIES and ALIENS. You already have met some of the trolls and know plenty about their society, you are much more interested in the carapaces for right now. But seeing as Derse and Prospit both fell out of the fucking sky, there are not many left. However, you managed to find one prospitian still alive. 

You were losing interest in the carapaces because they lack a lot of intelligence, in your opinion, but this one interests you enough. He, or what you assume is a he, does not speak and mostly just follows you about the meteor in a silly little top hat. You named him Sir Gregory, but mostly you just call him Greg. Speaking of Greg, he has brought you your phone.

 

**CASE---- > Check phone**

 

You do as the bolded words command and notice you have messages from your friend, why don’t you answer them? Oh, and remember, Stridouche has annoyed you so you type in only neon fucking pink.

 

**yuriEnthusiast** **Has begun pestering** **matrixMayhem**

  
  


YE: Hello, Case

YE: It seems that Dean and the others will go into the game soon 

YE: Case?

MM: Ye

YE: What? 

MM: Your tag, holy fuck

MM: I never noticed that

MM: That’s hilarious 

MM: “hi, my is tag YE”

YE: Sigh

MM: Any way, whats happining my bro

YE: Most of that sentence in a train wreck 

MM:ssdfjdghkfjglkrg

YE: ? 

MM: Sorry, greg wants in on this action

MM: he’s in my lap now

YE: Hello, Greg

MM: he’s waving at the screen

MM: Huh, didnt think he could read.

MM: He slapped me

MM: doesn’t hurt, he has tiny baby hands

MM: he did it again

YE: It’s karma

MM: Probs

MM: so what did you need? 

YE: Oh, well I was just making sure you copied your server disk twice.

MM: shit boi I forgot

YE: I figured

MM: I got dis shit

MM: ye you later fam

matrixMayhem (mM) **ceased pestering** yuriEnthusiast (YE)

YE: I don’t know whether to be more mad about the pun or the use of “fam”. 

 

**Case--- > Copy that fucker**

  
  


You really hate the amount of colluding you part take in.

You head over to the  CONTROL CENTER  which is a fancy name for the room where you keep you interdimensional computers and gadgets you use for your consistent scheming with the Space Broad known as yuriEnthusiast. You also have a copy machine in there. Actually it’s called the Multiplier and you use it to copy pretty much anything that it can scan. The largest thing you have copied is a mattress. You don’t know why you did that. 

Alright, you have some work to do.


	4. Vanesa-------> Don't die

**\--------- > Be Vanesa Again**

 

You are tired and cranky. You entered the land of Shores and Scales as a hero of Light. Whatever that means. You h8ted having Nataly as a server player and being Dean’s, he mostly just sat there and fucked off on his shitty laptop. When he did move, he disappeared into his land. The land of Jungles and Waves is expansive and confusing.  

Apparently, everyone else got a specific class, but the game was like, “eh, f8ck her, she don’t need to know wh8t her’s is” and it’s pissing you off. 

You look out your window at the new planet. It is covered in blue sandy beaches with alabaster rocks shaped like scales, sure it’s pretty, but it’s also boring. Your consorts are spiders and they don’t do shit except spin webs in inconvenient places and piss you off. Your world has weak ass monsters because none of you dweebs have prototyped anything, except Tavion’s ridiculous fairy tale book and Elijah’s dumbass prototyped an anime body pillow. Fuck them, seriously.  

You check your phone, hoping for a relief to your boredom. 

You find that someone is texting you in a familiar color, but different tag. 

 

callousCollaborator(CC) **has begun pestering** arachnidsGrip (AG)

CC: )-(ey Vriska

CC: W)-(atever you do, don’t leave your room for a bit

CC: Since you never fucking take advice from me, just remember to honk back if you see him

CC: And for fucksake keep him the shell away from your kernelsprite 

 

callousCollaborator (CC) **Ceased pestering** arachnidsGrip (AG)

AG: WH8 THE FUCK

 

arachnidsGrip (AG) **has been blocked by** callousCollaborator (CC)

 

Well, that was creepy as fuck. You wonder what kind of fucker thought this was funny, and what kind of creature honks and expects a honk back. Probably a clown, a juggalo? Whatever. You have the sudden urge to check on your kernelsprite.

 

**Vanesa------- > Go check living room for kernel and honking clowns**

 

You head to the living room, passing the mailbox that Nataly dragged in and scowl at it. God she was a fuck up. 

Your shimmering blue ball called a kernelsprite was still floating like an asshole. You briefly consider what to do with it when you smell something, like apples and... blue raspberry jolly ranchers? You turn as cold air blows against your skin. Before you is a tall, grey skinned creature with spiraling horns colored like candy corn of all things. It had terrifying purple irises set in yellow sclera, white messy paint covered the majority of it’s face and twin scars marred an otherwise plain face. There was something sinister in it’s empty, half lidded, gaze. It moved closer and it’s tangled black hair touched your face. It uttered only one word as you looked directly at it’s sharp, dagger like teeth.

It said

“HoNk”

You shook under it’s scarily alert eyes and replied in a quiet voice.

“Honk”

It nodded, satisfied by this and moved from you. Then you saw them. Two bodies, no three. One leaking Teal and others seeping blue and green. The blue covered one looked alive, twitching ever so slightly. You felt like you knew them, like you ought to save them. But you couldn’t move. The first body, the teal one, flew over you and into the kernelsprite.  **_Fuck._ ** You weren’t supposed to let it do that, you start to move toward it, but it already had hoisted the jade, er, green, one and  tossed it like it weighed nothing. You were momentarily blinded by blue light, when you got your sight back, there was nothing but three puddles of liquid and a coin where the third body and the creature had been. 

**Vanesa------- > Investigate Sprite**

You turn to your sprite and find it calmly sitting on a chair. One eye looked blind, but the other hat  slitted, cat like pupil. It had horns, one was short and sticking straight out and up. The other looked bent at the end and curved a bit, it was also longer. 

“Hello” It said politely. You cringed. 

A few months ago, Dean and Elijah convinced you to watch Black Butler, the english dub, you were too lazy to read subtitles. The sprite sounded just like the damn maid, what was her name? Oh yeah, Mey-rin. 

“I assume you do not know me then, but I know you.”

“Oh reeeeeeeeally”You respond, incredulous 

“Yes, you are a human now, but I’d always know you, Vriska Serket” You look at the creature, the name is familiar, but not your own.

“Actually, I’m Vanesa” you say

“Ah, it would make sense for you to have a human name now, but all the same, you were once someone else”

“Wait, who was I, and who are you?”you question

“All will be revealed when you are ready, dear, but for now, I am Ternayasprite, Ternaya if you like” The name feels familiar, but you ignore it. 

“Well, smartass, do you have any wise anecdotes to share with me?” You say snidely. Ternaya rolls her working eye and begun to speak in her crackly voice. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. You and the others should begin to search for your Quest beds, and ascend as soon as possible. I’ll be in touch but-” She begun to float toward the door

“I must take my leave, you’d do well to listen to Dean.” You run after her

“Wait!” you call, but it’s too late, she’s already out and up in the sky. 

You go back to your room and try to contact Dean and are frustrated when he doesn’t answer. 

“Stupid fucking meddlers and their incoherrent bulshit” You hiss, before going to search for whatever the fuck a Quest bed is. 

 

**Vanesa-------- > be Dean again **

 

You are… really fucking confused. 

This is your second go round playing Sburb and it’s still fucking you up. The land of Jungles and Waves was not what you were expecting. You thought you’d still be in the land of Heat and Clockwork, but apparently, you and Vanesa were not as a kin to Dave and Vriska as you thought. After all, she ended up in the land of Shores and Scales instead of Maps and Treasure. And when you entered, it said “the knight” but not “the knight of time”. You were trying not to think about it. 

But now you knew why, the gmae obviously didn’t want two Dave Striders, or two Vriska Serkets. So, since you and Vanesa were different (at least you’d like to think you are) from the originals, the game gave you different classpects. Vanesa kept her aspect, but you think her class changed. You kept your class and your aspect… Well that was the current conundrum. 

Shortly after entering the game, you assisted MM on his end and then proceeded to explore your new world. You interrogated the Nakodiles who weren’t really Nakos because they didn’t live in fucking lava and eventually came to a Volcano. You call the inhabitant Volcadiles, because although they aren’t Nak Naks, they do worship that goddamned volcano. Of which you are now in. Apparently its lava is fucking green. You hate it in here. But your Quest bed is nestled right in between two lava falls in here. 

Obviously you needed to die on it, but how? You weren’t sure. Luckily, a distraction came in the form of a text.

 

gallowsAuxiliatrix  (GA) Has begun pestering turntechGodhead (TG)

 

GA: D4v3, 4r3 You Th3r3?

TG: I take back everything I’ve ever said about either of your usual typing.

TG: this is so much worse 

GA: Wow D4v3.

TG: that line was exactly 2000% Terezi and you can’t convince me otherwise

TG: and i’m not dave

TG: i’m Dean 

GA: W3ll, 1 4m T3rn4y4, so 1 suppos3 w3 both ought to g3t us3d to th3 n3w n4m3s.

TG: fine

TG: I need a nickname for you

TG and for the love of fuck please pick, TZ quirk or KN. 

GA: How about I just type in a simple, cohesive and civilized nature that is grammatically correct while also introducing several aspects of both Terezi and Kanaya’s typing quirks? 

TG: Oh fuck

GA: What? I agreed to your terms, did I not? 

TG: Tell me right now

TG: Are you floating or standing?   
GA: What?

TG: Do you have legs or a tail?   
GA:  I 

GA: I don’t know

TG: Ternaya Pyryam you are plenty smart enough to look down

GA: Did you just give me a last name?   
TG: don’t distract me

TG: I know what you’re doing

TG: It’s the sprite bulshit

TG: diverting conversations to avoid revealing too much

GA: Damnit

GA: I have legs

TG: godfuckingdamnit

GA: I had a tail when I left Vriska’s

GA: *Vanesa

GA: I don’t understand

GA: Am I no longer a sprite?

TG: no, you’re still a sprite, but not for long

TG: Vanesa blocked me a few hours ago

TG: after I told her to suck it up and go looking for her gate

TG: we can’t find it

GA: What? 

GA: I saw it above her hive as I left

TG: Are you fucking

TG: not now

TG: one crisis at a time 

TG: When we entered, me and the sweaty horse one were separated from the others. 

TG: He has most of his memories

TG: anyway, we got this weird audio explaining that things would be different

TG: the only copies of the original 32 kids/troll that would be allowed are ones that divert massively from the alpha timeline. 

TG: I’m an artist and I’m missing an arm

TG: also I’m pretty emotional

GA: ?

TG: well, in comparrison to Dave and Dirk I’m not

TG: I blame Jade and John

TG: Hal is way more emotional

TG: and he’s more of a hacker than a robotics genius

TG: Nesa is actually pretty nice when shes not stressed or bored

TG: And she can’t concentrate on shit

TG: I think you’re diverting from Terezi and Kanaya

GA: How so?

TG: Do you want to hunt down the clown fucker?

GA: Gamzee is mentally incapable of knowing what he is doing so, no

TG: Do you want to find Rose or help Vanesa?

GA: You seem to be a better pale mate for human Vriska than either of my counterparts

TG: I’m going to ignore you attempting to confuse me with quadrants 

TG: Do you want to bring justice on Eridan or anyone else 

GA: I see the need for that, but I don’t wish to inflict it myself

TG: Ternaya

TG: This is diversion

GA: I don’t see how

TG: in no way shape or form would Terezi and Kanaya have answered like that

GA: Oh

GA: How do you know?

GA: You weren’t the on a meteor with them for nearly 2 sweeps

TG: Because those assholes skype us every time they had a minor disagreement and needed another opinion

TG:and you weren’t with Dave for that time

TG: you were dead

TG:assumably

TG: shit you aren’t main timeline right?

TG: i just thought you weren’t

GA: No

GA: We were killed by Gamzee

GA: Terezi helped John alter the timeline

GA: Kanaya died after killing Gamzee

TG: how the actual fuck are you here 

GA: If I knew that I’d be much less confused as to my origins

GA: I do know that Gamzee brought the bodies

TG: no fucking shit

TG: no one else would think that this was a solid plan. 

TG: you literally have to be a psychotic clown that’s been off his meds for three years in order to come up with this scheme

TG: I’ll warn everyone else to get them to prototype their sprites on the double

TG: In the meantime

TG: get your ass back to Vanesa’s 

TG: tell her where the damn gate is and copy her client disk

GA: May I ask why?

TG: I’ve got an extra server disk

GA: And?

TG: We’ve got to get you into the game

GA: One more thing 

TG: please don’t let this be another problem

GA: it’s nothing

GA: Well, actually, it’s something

GA: I’m fully corporeal now

TG: Like a full troll?

GA: Yes

TG: great

TG: anything else

GA: Yes

TG: go on

GA: I don’t have any pants

TG: wait what the fuck


	5. Terezi, Karkat, Sollux and Kanaya ----> Ascend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is short, but the next will be longer.

Your name is now Terezi Pyrope and this is some incredible fuckery

 

You were called to a town meeting, and by “called” you mean Dave rode his bike with Karakat and a megaphone on the handlebars. It would have been cute if they hadn’t been blowing everyone’s eardrums out at six am. He didn’t even need the fucking megaphone. You supposed it was for a good reason. 

You finished the game approximately two sweeps ago, give or take a little. You didn’t really use sweeps often anymore. It’s more fun having two wriggling days every half sweep instead of once. Plus it’s easier. Most the humans don’t understand sweeps or Alternian, despite four years of attempting to teach them. Dave and Rose are almost fluent now, you tease John about not being as good as them, and he reminds you that he hasn’t been learning from his alien datemate for seven years. You’ve started a kismesitude with him, it’s not a normal one, it’s more like prank wars and occasional makeouts. You like it a lot, it suits you two. Jade’s your auspistice, and she’s just glad she doesn’t need to intervene very often. Mostly, she just forces peace treaties in the wars for everyone’s sakes. She’s also glad that you guys haven’t pailed. You don’t think you ever will, and that’s cool with you. When you guys entered Earth C, it was filled with trolls and Humans alike, mostly they lived separate, but in some parts, they coexisted easily. That’s when you found out that a mother grub was no longer necessary. 

The game allowed Earth C’s populations to cross species breed. Oddly enough, it was working pretty well. But needless to say, after hearing that interspecies couples could procreate, Karkat and Kanaya had absolute meltdowns. Dave just kinda stood there, Rose smiled really creepily, Kanaya had to sit down for a minute. Karkat hyperventilated. 

There wasn’t a lot to say on that, none of you had investigated too far into it, but you were all a little wary now, unsure of how exactly this new system would affect the lot of you. But that was on the back burner for now. The real problem is that the God Tiers had stopped aging. Apparently, there was now a solution. 

You feel Kanaya turn you around to actually face your shouting leader. You were in the town square (why did you call it that? It was more of a circle) and you had purposely faced an incorrect direction in order to bring a little humor into the meeting. Kanaya had turned you around as per request from Krabkat. 

“Allright you fucks, time to die so we don’t die” The actual fuck? Dave took the megaphone and pushed Karkats grasping hands away. (or at least that’s what you imagine happen, judging by the grunts and hand slapping noise) 

“Jesus fuck, we have your Quest beds-” he threw the megaphone

“And we wanna kill you on them” he said. Well, now it makes more sense- wait WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GET QUEST BEDS?

Roxy’s voice rose over the fighting couple and she explained further.

“Well, I didn’t think I could do it, but I got ‘em, like how I got the Matriorb and shit” you felt Kanaya move away from you and wondered what she knew. 

“I am technically already dead, therefore, I think If I just lay down on it, I should Ascend.” She said, make sense, you thought. 

“Actually, I was hoping you’d say that” Roxy replied. 

You all were silent as Kanaya presumably laid upon her Quest bed. One minute passed, two and five minutes later, you were convinced it wouldn’t happen. 

Even in your sightless eyes, the image of stars in endless galaxies projected into your mind, a intense and in detail image of Kanaya in her blazing glory, a star in her own right. Loud shouts of excitement filled the air around you. You begun to push what was either Jane or Jake ( they smelled similar sometimes) and made your way the short distance to the front of the small group. You sniffed for the lime green of your God Tier and navigated around a red and olive colored one. You sit your ass on the slab, excitement pouring off of you. You shift and look side to side. Dave’s apple smell is everywhere, and you can’t pinpoint it. 

“Dave, whereever the fuck you are, kill me” You say

“I’m worried about how eager you are” He says

“I’m curious” 

“About what”

“You’ll see” You grin, the scent is stronger in this area, he’s probably this way. Soon, he’s over you, you smell the metal of his blade, just above your heart. He hesitates. 

“Dave, it’s alright if you can’t” You say, your smile fading. The blade rattles and you think he shakes his head.   
“I’ve got this” He says. You smell Karkat as he comes up to Dave.

“ I’ll do it with you, if you want” He says, the blade becomes steadier as Dave’s hands are joined by Karkat’s 

“On three?” He asks you. You nod, less excited. 

“One” you brace yourself

“Two” you close your eyes

“Three” the blade enters your body and you run out of breath. 

 

You can see. 

You can see and it is both terrifying and amazing at the same time. You can still smell extraordinarily, but  oh gog, you can see. You are clothed in all green, except for the teal symbol of mind on your chest. You smile, Dave’s white blonde hair and douche glasses come into view as you lower to the ground, had you been in the air? Karkat has red tinted tears in his eyes and he quickly wipes them away. You are shocked by him. The last time you could see hem, he was just a kid, a whiny little shit. But this Karkat was so different, you didn’t know what to say. He was taller, but you were taller still, his eyes were full red now, and his sweater had long been abandoned for a t-shirt with his symbol in full red. You looked at your friends, and wow, it was incredible. 

“Terezi, are you alright?” Kanaya asked, you smiled at her.

“Hell yeah, it’s nice to see everyone” That’s when you took of your glasses, and gasps came (mainly from Kanaya and Karkat) at the sight of your now teal colored eyes. 

The next hour moved in a similar fashion, Aradia had to kill Sollux and Karkat took awhile. Dave couldn’t and neither could Kanaya, you got voted in to do it. It was as quick as you could manage. You all were having fun testing your powers, and avoiding the purple Quest bed off to the side, when something came to dampen your mood. 

It was a video, on your phone, a video of Gamzee creating a sprite, and a confused blue and blonde haired girl next to the sprite, the camera turned to the recorder, it was Vriska, beaten and bloodied. She said only one thing.

“Help me, Terezi” 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Elijah----> Gain companion

Terezi----> Be Sollux

 

You are now Sollux Captor and you feel pretty good. Going God Tier was great. You’re still an asshole, but a chiper asshole. You can see, for one, for two, you have your Psiionics back, and no voices. Those didn’t come back (thank gog), but your lisp did, you don’t really mind, actually, you missed it a little. You’re not even mad that AA is dragging you on the Vriska rescue/Gamzee capture mission. TZ started arranging the mission after what felt like the second after you became a literal god. But hey, spider bitch was still her Moirail, you didn’t really get that. Vriska only showed up every few perigees and crashed at TZ’s hive.

She had a bad habit of harassing Tavcat and Jake, and only checked in via vlogs every week or so. It’s been awhile though, and TZ has been bugging KK and KN about VK’s unusual behavior in the past few vlogs. She travels space, mostly, all your planets are out there, last year, Jade miniaturized some of your hives and brought them to Can Town. You did not want your communal hive stem. But you did get all your computer shit and that was cool.

You live in a house by a lake; initially, when you still were waxing red for FF, you wanted to be there in case you guys ever brought the dead guys back. The sea was an hour or so away so this was the closest body of water, you thought she’d like it. You realised a little late that you didn’t really feel red for her anymore, but AA’s hive is nearby because Dave told her about dinosaurs after she found a skull and she’s been excavating near you ever since. So, at least there was that.

You walk to the door of your hive, your bag of shit all pack for your “adventure”. You tracked the video’s location with Roxy and found that she had recorded it in a different universe, AA was already prepared for this. After finding out that Damara and the Handmaiden’s wands were able to cross both universes, sessions and time, she was determined to recreate them. So now she had the Time Whip. As well as being her go to weapon, when combined with her Maid powers, she is able to recreate the effect of their wands by ripping open time and space.

You have no idea how the fuck she figured it out, she actually scared you when you found out. Gog, your taste in women is fucked.

You exit the mess you call home and float down the dirt path to AA’s house. You haven’t walked much in the two days since your Ascension, whether by psiionics or god tier flight, you have reason to not be compelled to walk often. Admittedly, it wears out your psiionics, but not your wings.

AA is at the beginning of the paved road that leads into town, everyone knows you’re leaving this morning, TZ stands next to her, shifting from foot to foot. It’s still weird to see those flashing teal orbs amid the usual red. Her Sclera didn’t return to yellow, she says that she likes it better this way. It does make her look very dragonic.

 

“Are we ready?” Aradia asks, a little to giddy for the sobriety of you and TZ.

“Yeah, I gueth” you say, and TZ nods in agreement, looking determined.

“OK, somethings I gotta say first.” AA says, you look at her, wondering what she’s kept from you.

“One, we have to wait a few minutes because Jade wants to come”

You groan instinctually. The annoying thing about the dark haired humans was their upbeat personalities. Although you felt a lot better after ascending, they were still annoying. She stuck her tongue out at you and said that she couldn’t explain the rest until Jade arrived.

Jade was nearly 15 minutes late and incredibly peppy. It physically hurt to watch her, how does someone smile that much?  Once all the greetings were done, you all looked expectantly at Aradia.

“Fine” She said, taking a hint and beginning to pull her whip from it’s place on her belt. As soon as she had it out, she lashed it out away from your group and a red glowing hole appeared.

“This is gonna be a quick lesson so listen carefully.” she stood, hands on her hips and a mischievous grin on her face.

“This is a Tear, in both time and space, it automatically programs it’s destination based on where and when I tell it to when I open it. It’ll disappear 5 minutes after I go in or 10 minutes if  I don’t go in at all. Because this is another universe not another place or planet, the chances are we will land in different places. But that’s fine because we saw a sprite so she’s definitely in a Sgrub session and that means gates from land to land. And we’re all God Tier. But basically, there is little chance we’ll land in the same place, I don’t really know”

“You don’t really know?” Jade asked AA sighed and answered

“Me, Jake and Dave have been working on it but whenever we go to different planets, there’s always the chance we’ll get separated. Since this is a different universe, I expect the chances to go up”

“What’th the uthual chance?” you say

“It’s 50/50”

“And now what’th it at?”

“Probably more like 80%”

“Oh well that’th reathuring” you say snidely, but after a few more minutes of q&a, you are all following AA into the Tear.

**Sollux----- > Wake up**

 

You wake up to steady rocking under you, like a boat. You realise that is exactly what this is as you eye a porthole on the wall above you. You sit up and notice you are soaking wet. What the fuck?

There is a human in the corner of the room you are located in. He is small, maybe Karkat sized, he has glasses and freckles everywhere. His hair is bright orange, with a paler streak through the middle. He’s… kinda cute. Especially with that body pillow he’s hugging. It’s Yuuri Katsuki from that ice skating anime you caught Dirk watching (and may have watched yourself)

You regret saying he’s cute right after he speaks

“Wwhat the fuck are you?” That pompous voice, that ridiculous stutter. This was human Eridan Ampora and goddamnit, you are fucked.

  


**Sollux---- > Be ** ~~**Eridan**~~ **Elijah**

 

Your name is Elijah Anderson and you are scared of the creature in the corner of your boat.

Well, you were thirty minutes ago.

Now, he’s dry, awake and eating pancakes while criticizing your fashion sense. He calls you ED, which makes no sense, seeing as you have yet to tell him your name, and it doesn’t fit your name. Even if you like the sound of it.

“My names Elijah, in case you wwere wwonderin” You say, trying, and failing to mask your stutter

“I wathn’t, and I’m  thtill calling you ED” You kind of like the lisp, you decide

“Wwhy?”

“Becauthe EJ ith thtupid and tho ith the perthon you remind me of” He doesn’t elaborate further. You decide to prod him for more answers

“Wwhy do you have a gemini sign on your shirt?” You had done a little research on zodiac signs after they apparently gained relevance in Dean's planing. 

“Becathue I’m a gemini?”

“I’m an Aquarius but I don’t wwear my sign all the time”

“Well i’m a Troll and Trollth wear their signth” he responds

“Ok, wwhy are your eyes like that, wwhere are you from, wwhat wwas that outfit you wwere wwearing before you changed?” you say in a rush. He looks annoyed, but, answers anyway.

“I’m a Pthiionic, I wath born on Alternia but I live on Earth C, and that was my god tier pajamath, I’m the mage of doom, anything elthe?” you know that last part was sarcastic and you do not care.

“Yes, wwhat’s a Psiionic and wwhat’s a god tier.” he does not look surprised by your questions and responds neutrally.

“Pthiionicth are trollth with electric like telekiniethith and a god tier is bathically a god with a certain athpect and clath that determineth the abilitieth they get.”

“Oh” you say, unsure of how to respond. Your phone buzzes and you see a message from Dean.

turntechGodhead (TG) **has begun pestering** caligulasAquarium (CA)

TG: do you have anyone with you

CA: wwhat do you mean?

TG: is there a troll with you or not

CA: yes

CA: I think

TG: Fuck

TG: ok, what’s their name

CA: uhhh

 

You look at the troll and poke his arm

“Wwhat’s your name?” you ask

“I’m Thollux Captor”

 

CA: I’m assumin his lisp affects his name too, so it’s Sollux Captor

TG: great, well, have him help you get to god tier.

CA: Wwhat’s that?  
TG: he knows

CA: So do you

TG: yeah but I’m not typing it out

TA: ii liiterally ju2t fuckiing told you, bulge fuck

CA: Howw the fuck

TG: I’m shocked it took this long

TA: 2hut up iim on a palm hu2k and that 2hit take2 longer

 

You look at Sollux and pinch his arm

“Howw?” you ask He rubs his arm and frowns at you

“Magic hacker powerth”

“Magic isn’t real” You murmer as you look back at your phone

 

TG: hello

TG: earth to nerds

TG: whatever

TG: sollux im opening a private chat, float up or something so he won’t see

turntechGodhead (TG) **has ceased pestering** caligulasAquarium (CA)

 

Sollux, miraculously, floats above your head, when you look up. You decide to look for some adventuring clothes. It seems like you will be doing a lot of it.

Elijah----> be Troll

 

You are avoiding eye contact with the human. Which is easy because you’re floating and he’s left the room, but still. He’s kinda cute.

Wait

No

You aren’t doing this, the Elijah human (fuck Karkat’s bad habit and it’s catchy qualities) will not capture any pity from you. You will not wax red for a gogdamned human, and certainly not one like Eridan. You are over thinking this, aren’t you? After all, thinking his ass is nice is a lot different from wanting to pail him, or date him. All of which you actually consider to be viable options, and that bothers you. Davesprite’s orange text appears on your phone and saves you from further self analyzation.

 

turntechGodhead (TG) **has begun pestering** twinArmageddons (TA)

 

TG: Firt off, i’m Dean, not Davesprite

TA: OK 2ure

TG: I was davesprite but I’m nott just another dave anymore

TA: no 2hiit, dave striider i2 boniing one of my be2t friiend2

TG: John owns me twenty when we get out of this

TA: you bet on who your alternate 2elf was fuckiing?

TA: 2ounds re2onable

TG: don’t question me, Captor

TG: but seriously, don’t tell Elijah about Eridan

TA: 2o he really doe2n’t know?

TA: and he really i2 eriidan?

TG: hell yeah.

TA: are the other2?

TG: Nepeta is Nataly, Vriska is Vanesa, Equius is Ethan, Feferi is Felicity and Tavros is Tavion.

TA: VK made it out of the game

TG: I know, this is a different version

TA the fuck

TG: all the copies or alternate timeline people were destroyed

TG: unless they are physically and neurologically different from the originals

TA: how many?

TG: just me, Vanesa and now Ternaya

TG: as long as the others don’t prototype anything that was alive, we should be fine

TG: You can’t leave, now that you’re here

TG: I know where Jade and TZ are, but, Aradia is still missing.

TA: ::O

TA: that wa2 dumb forget ii diid that.

TG: I screenshotted it

TA: fuck off

TG: anyway, basically, don’t tell him shit

TG: after you guys start to explore and he interacts with the planet, he’ll start to remember

TA: how do you know?

TG: because Equius is the only one that listens to me and he remembers dying now.

TG: he’s not letting Nepeta out of his sight.

TG: not kidding

TG: he found his quest bed but refuses to use until he finds hers and she ascends

TG: thats why i’m bothering you

TG: it’s gonna be awhile but I figured you might know Eridan’s planet better than him right now.

TG: oh and if you end up asleep, go to prospit

TG: wait you have dual dreamselves nvm

TG: peace out Captor

TG: oh gog don’t screen shot that

turntechGodhead **ceased pestering** twinArmageddons (TA)

TA: two fuckiing late


	7. Dancestors----> Enter Story

**ENTER NAME**

MEENAH PEXIES )-(

**ORIGIN**

BEFORUS

 **ALLEGIANCE** **  
** METEOR TEAM

**OBJECTIVE**

OFFENSE

**ROLE**

THIEF

**BLOOD STATUS**

TYRANT

 

As previously mentioned, you are Meenah Pexies, you are more sweeps old than plausible or possible to count and you were born as a Beforan Tyrant Blood. You _were_ destined to rule a galaxy, a fate you didn’t want, you _were_ going to rule a universe with 11 others, a lot less pressure and a hot as matesprit, a fate you _did_ want. You now have neither and that sucks ass.

 

Meenah----> Awaken

 

You do as the mysterious voice commands and wake up.  For some reason, although you have knowledge of being mysteriously resurrected, the implications have not settled into your pan well enough for you to actually react. You are in a vaguely familiar hive, warm colors coat the walls and warm air draps over you like an unwelcome hug. You had been sleeping on the floor and have the sudden urge to take away the heat. You get up and search for a hive climate controlling device and find it on the opposite side of the room. It’s not that the heat bothers you, back on Beforus, it was common for seadwellers to stretch out on rocks to enjoy the sun. Even though it bothered most of your generally nocturnal species, your kind were exempted from such inconveniences. The undead were also none of your concern, after all, only the gill-less losers could turn into them, and they didn’t swim. But you were unused to feeling heat, after being dead so long, and it was mildly annoying. You passed by an asleep Cronus and wonder briefly if this is his hive. But that’d be silly, although Cronus had his own hive, he used to mostly crash at Damara’s with Rufioh. He didn’t like being alone, and Rufioh’s horns grew a little too fast, Damara’s house was actually a large cavern so space wasn’t an issue. Plus, it’d be violet if Cronus was the hive’s owner.

After turning that damn thing down to a reasonable degree, you moved over to a couch that seemed welcoming enough. On the floor in front of it was a loose piece of fabric, you grab the soft red material and thought of who it could indicate. Well, ‘Tula wore red, and so did Porrim on occasion, Damara was an option, but again, she lived in a cavern, plus it was too bright. You look for signs of Kankri, as he was the most likely suspect. Instead you see shelves lined with books and a dress form that had a red sweater with the beginnings of the Cancer sign sewn into into it. You figure this is Porrim’s hive.

Speak of the devil and she will appear. Porrim slides out of a room down the hall in loose pajamas and dashes over to device you just fixed the temperature with. Did Porrim really keep her hive that warm on purpose? She marches up to you and you can clearly see her tank top with her sign on it and her jade striped shorts. She looks both angry and worried at the same time. Her silky voice comes out as an almost whisper.

“First of all, never touch my thermostat, and second, are you alright. I am unsure of how in the actual fuck this happened, but I want ot make sure everyone is safe before we analyze our situation”

“Porrim, it’s just you me and Cronus, and he’s still asleep. And why do you keep it so warm” You say, unsure of the truth in the first half of your statement.

“Because I’d like Kankri to not die of hypothermia” As if summoned, Kankri entered with Damara (when did she get here?) and announced his presence.

“Porrim, please stop being over dramatic, I am not a wriggler and you are not my lusus. Hypothermia does not catch on that fast or in 40 degree temperature, Damara and I will be just fine, if a little chilly.”

“Why the actual fuck are we all in Porrim’s hive?” You ask, although Kankri looks like he wants to discuss your colorful wording, he seems generous today and give you an answer”

“While I am unsure as to why you, Cronus and Damara are here, I can resolve the matter of my presence by telling you I live here. “ You raise an eyebrow at them and they just brush by it. It’s kind of annoying. (it’s really annoying)

You settle at their table and wonder why the fuck you were stuck in the game again.

 

**ENTER NAME**

KURLOZ MAKARA

**ORIGIN**

BEFORUS

 **ALLEGIANCE** **  
** SHUTTLE TEAM

**OBJECTIVE**

DEFENSE

**ROLE**

PRINCE

**BLOOD STATUS**

SUBJUGGLATOR

 

**Kurloz---- > why is it so fucking warm?**

You open your eyes and discover that the warmth you are coated in is stemming from Meulin and Mituna’s sleeping bodies. You are unsure of what the fuck is going on right now. You fight off the urge to go back to sleep and stand up. You stretch, reaching as far up towards the roof as you can manage and then you yawn. Wait. You fucking yawn?

You stop, hands still raised up toward the motherfucking sky. But your mouth is still wide open, needless to say, you are fucking confused. And wait, you have a tongue? You snap your mouth closed and contemplate this motherfucking development. You are not sure what did this, but you are worried, worried to hell and back that you might fuck up again. Sure, there was times when you fucking wish more than anything that you could speak again, but you knew it was for the best that you motherfucking didn’t… 

But you can motherfucking speak now. Or at least, you  _ might _ . You open your mouth again and say one fucking scratchy word

“ _ Meulin?”  _ It was more of a question and it hurt your throat, but you want to force out a few more motherfucking words to her. She seemed to have heard it, those keen ears of hers must be healed as well, just like in the afterlife. She sits up and looks at you, unsure of whether that had been audible or motherfucking chuckle voodoo. 

“Love you” It was so hard to produce those three words and your throat is definitely sore, but seeing her smile was entirely worth it. She smiles and laughs, jumping up to hug you and you can’t help but smile back in a big, fucking toothy grin.

  
  
Several hours later and most of those that had ended up here with you are awake. Dealing with everyone as they woke up turned out to be harder than you previously would have thought. Apparently being dead so long had dulled a lot of emotions and of course, you could feel pain now. Which wouldn’t be a problem if Rufioh wasn’t the literal fucking reason why humans invented the term “bull in a china shop” he kept bumping into things and yowling like an injured barkbeast.  He woke up after Meulin went to the nutrition block for food and tripped over his horns. Why he was on the ground to begin with was a mystery. Aranea was still a sleep (thank satan), Horuss was bickering with Meulin over something that didn’t really concern you. You figured that it was everyone not remembering how to control their emotions quite yet. Mituna was awake and that was not good, you had no mind honey or any sopor. He wasn’t dealing with the idea of being back in the game very well. You continued to try and contact the others after shooshing him proved to be useless. You attempt to reach the others, evetually trying the humans and beta trolls as well, none of them answer. By some mysterious circumstance, you  are able to establish contact with the orange sprite human you barely remember existed

 

taciturnCardinal (TC) **has begun trolling** turntechGodhead (TG)

 

TC: HeY

TC: SpRiTe FuCkEr

TG: the names Dean and what the fuck are you

TC: A bEfOrEaN tRolL

TG: oh thank me

TG: I thought you were our juggalo

TG: that was sarcastic

TG: he doesn’t type that coherently

TG: I meant, are you alive or still dead

TC: I am alive

TC: and I also have a name

TG: do tell

TG: I am on the edge of my seat

TC: I assume that’s sarcasm

TG: finally, a troll that catches on quick

TC: but my name is Kurloz

TG: ok

TG: but I have three things to ask

TC: go on

TG: Have you spoken to porrim yet or is that just me

TC: I didn’t know she was alive

TC: she doesn’t like me

TC: it’s pretty mutual

TG: jegus grist please tell me this isn’t one of those weird kismesis things

TC: FUCK NO

TG: hold your fucking alien titties and let me finish

TG: do you know where your quest beds are

TC: No

TG: ok

TG: we’ll talk about that in a sec

TC: the last question

TG: yeah.

TG: why did you stop typing like a jackass

TC: I uh

TC: i don’t know

TC: Is ThIs BeTtEr

TG: please don’t

TC: thank gog

TC: it’s actually pretty tedious

TC: I don’t know why we do it

TG: Ok, so I’m gonna close this

TC ?

TG: I’ll open memo with everyone in it

TC: wait

TC: do you know our troll tags

TG: shit

TG: hit me up man

TC: i’ll copy paste the list

TC: **callousCollaborator (CC)**

**casonovasAnchor (CA)**

**taciturnCardinal (TC)**

**circesTechnitian  (CT)**

**atheneumGossiper (AG)**

**gnarlyConsologist (GC)**

**glamorousAdvocate (GA)**

**asinineCorrier (AC)**

**trenchantAlturist (TA)**

**automatedTachymetry (AT)**

**archaicAnime (AA)**

**castelessGuardian (CA)**

TG: archaicAnime

TC: don’t ask

TG: I wasn’t going to

taciturnCardinal(TC) **ceased trolling** turntechGodhead(TG)

 

 


	8. Everyone----> GET FUCKING ORGANIZED

turntechGodhead (TG) opened memo MOTEL ROUTY FRUMPUS

TG: so there are a lot of assholes included in this shit  
TG: I actually has to get my brother to help me open three different goddamned memos and merge them  
TG: it wasn’t fun  
TG: everyone is in here  
TG: all the humans, beta trolls, dancestors and Calliope.   
TG: with guest appearances from the mysterious MM and YE   
MM: sup  
YE: is this our cue to enter?   
TG: no i’m not fucking done.   
TG: anyway  
TG: basically, don’t prototype anything that used to be alive  
TG: please  
TG: we already have one accident on our hands  
AG: I take offense to that  
GA: As do I   
TG: oh yeah.   
TG: me, Vanesa and Ternaya are diverting from our originals, so is Hal, I think  
TG: he’s locked in the basement  
TA: the fuck  
TG: listen over my dead body is he playing the game or dying in it   
AG: sounds fucking cr88py   
TG: and so does those jackass eights  
TG: I just wanted everyone to know whats going on  
AG: that didn’t make any sense  
turntechGodhead banned arachnidsGrip from responding to the memo  
TG: there  
TG: anyone else wanna get banned  
AG: I’m sure you are aware that it is very likely us dancestors are more informed about the current situation than you and the rest of your session.   
TC: when the fuck did she wake up  
TC: gimme a motherfuckin sec I’ll shut her up for ya human bro  
TG: I’m gonna clarify and say that was Kurloz not Gamzee  
TG: goddamned trolls and their matching ass tags  
AG: I took the opportunity to escape him when Mituna started to complain about Latula not allowing him to respond to the memo.   
TG: goddamn  
turntechGodhead banned atheneumGossiper from responding to the memo  
TG: If youre not me anymore why are you still using the same chumhandle  
TG: technically i’m older than you by a little due the the time i spent in the alternate timeline so why are you using mine?  
TG: yeah but im alpha timeline so it doesnt count  
TG: I’m sorry  
TG: I couldn’t read through that atrocious grammar  
TG: what are you rose  
GG: Really?  
GG: this is just like when Karkat spent like an hour arguing with me and past him!  
GG: I don’t wanna auspistice or whatever for two daves!  
TG: actually I’m Dean  
TG: im just saying if he can make a new name he might as well make a new chum  
CG: WHAT THE BULDGELICKING FUCK  
CG: FIRST I HAVE TO READ THREW MY DUMBASS MATESPRIT ARGUING WITH HIS CLONE THATS NOT EXACTLY HIM ANY MORE  
CG: AND THEN HARLEY BETRAYS ME AND REMINDS US ALL OF HOW STUPID PAST KARKATS ARE  
TG: you woke him up on accident  
TG: didn’t you  
TG: whoops  
CG: JUST CHANGE YOUR GOG DAMNED CHUM HANDLE AND QUIT FIGHTING LIKE WRIGGLERS  
TG: fine jegus  
turntechGodhead (TG) is now harassMemes (HM)  
TG: gogdamnit   
HM: you fucking asked for it.   
HM: but basically, don’t come in here unless you wanna get your ass stuck with us  
HM: and to everyone in here  
HM: any space or void player can find your quest beds  
HM: Space players have to be god tier first but the Void players can get their own bed first then access all the others.   
HM: we’ll meet up on derse in two weeks  
HM: but everyone has to stop by prospit first   
HM: there’s weapons hidden in the castle  
AC: ::3< What kind of weapons?  
HM: I’m assuming that’s Meulin  
HM: but i’m surprised you all knowing danscestors haven’t noticed  
HM: all your weapons were taken at the beginning   
HM: I literally don’t even have the sword that used to be in my chest  
AC: ::3< *it was Meulin!*  
HM: that’s all you asshats need to know for now but I’m gonna go ahead and leave this open in case i have something to add later

harassMemes (HM) has become an idle chum!

 

 

Dean----> be brother. 

Your name is DALLAS STRIDER and you are exactly 2.77 sweeps. That’s right, you are culturally aware and educated. That and you used to be a practically all-knowing sentient computer with the personality of a twelve year old. Now you are not all knowing but close to it by six year old standards, and of course, you are much more mature than your age and brother would have people believe.   
Currently, however, you are pouting, what? You are still six after all, although sitting at a dusty desk with a laptop and looking angrily at the basement door is not usually what people think of when they imagine a pouting child.   
You have already inserted and installed the client disc for Sburb, of course, your brother doesn’t know you have it, that’d be self sabotage. You pull up pesterchum and begin to speak with your soon to be teammates

timaeusTestified (TT) opened a memo  
TT: so i installed it  
YE: Great! I’ll connect to you immediately  
TT: are you in the game already  
YE: I am safely located on Prospit as of now and am awaiting the delivery of my Quest bed  
TT: whats that?  
YE: You will see soon enough, dear  
TT: why do you always talk so nice to me?  
TT: I have read your conversations with the others and you aren’t this nice  
YE: It is my job to change all of your fortunes  
YE: In plain terms, I must change depending on who I speak to in order to influence your decisions.   
MM: that was so fucking not ‘plain terms’ buddy  
YE: Language around the child, Case  
MM: the little shit says fuck more than i do and i’m a clumsy asshole who lives alone on a dangerous meteor  
TT: don’t you have a living chess piece that follows you around  
YE: Yes he does have a Carapace  
MM: he’s prospitian, specifically  
MM: and that jackass doesn’t talk  
MM: he’s also sulking in the living room because I don’t wanna watch the 4th fucking season of My Little Pony with his furry loving ass.   
TT: I’d watch it  
TT: that show’s the best  
YE: Incorrect, Steven Universe is the best Cartoon Network has to offer  
MM: you only watch it so you can lust after Garnet and Opal  
YE: Opal hasn’t appeared for ages  
YE: And Garnet is attractive  
YE: And you have no room to talk after we witnessed you gushing over Marshall lee in Adventure Time  
MM: we are not talking about the total babe Marshall, we are talking about your obsession with a certain fusion   
YE: thick thighs save lives   
MM: and so do hawt vampire rockers  
TT: no  
TT: you two are not having a gay- off in front of my child eyes  
TT: CHILD  
MM: fuck  
YE: Same  
timaeusTestified (TT) closed the memo

MM: rudddddeeee

 

Hal----> Escape your prison


	9. Ternaya & Erisol---- Fuck up some shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably gonna have extra chapters this week. i'm on spring break and 4/13 is coming up so here's at least one extra chapter for now

**Hal---- > Be Ternayasprite **

 

Your name is  **TERNAYA PYRYAM** and you have no idea about anything else. 

You are currently located in Vanesa-not-Vriska’s hive, ahem, house and are fully corporeal. She is currently throwing a pair of pants at you rather angrily. Unfortunately, like the various other bottoms she has tossed your way, they do not fit. 

“Uggggggggh!”she whines

“Why does NOTHING fit you?” she yells. Of course, you shrug and continue to stand quietly and wait for her to simmer down. She does not. 

While she is pitching a rather enormous fit over seemingly nothing, you rip a red curtain from it’s current place over a window. 

“What the fuck?” she screeches, but as you wrap the drape about your waist, she tilts her head to one side and says a defeated “ok”. It doesn’t look half bad, you think, as you signal to her that you are going outside on a walk. Your walk turns into a swim, a long one, that eventually leads you to another landmass apart from the island in which Vanesa’s home is located. 

**yuriEnthusiast (YE)** **has begun pestering** **gallowsAuxiliatrix (GA)**

**YE: Hello**

**GA: I am rather distracted at the moment, would you mind contacting me later?**

**YE: Oh dear, am I interrupting something?**

**GA: Well, I believe that Dean is supposed to**

**YE: ?**

**GA: That’s one question answered**

**YE: Will you please elaborate?**

**HM: I asked her earlier to head out to one of the surrounding islands and look around for a bit**

**YE: What the fuck**

**TA: ii the fuck**

**YE: oh**

**TG: get your troll ass outta here Captor**

**TA: whatever, ii gotta grub2it not-eriidan anyway**

**GA: Dean, was there not a better place to locate my gate than almost two islands away from my charge?**

**HM: you don’t have to watch after her**

**HM: i got that covered**

**HM: besides she’s not even at home anymore**

**HM: I know where her quest bed is and I just sent her after it.**

**YE: how on earth do you know?**

**HM: Equius**

**YE: He’s not God Tier**

**YE: Is he?**

**HM: he got hurt and was dying anyway**

**HM: Nepeta dragged him onto his quest bed**

**GA: I don’t mean to be rude**

**HM: yes, you do**

**GA: But what part of this concerns me?**

**YE: I was going to inform you to fly straight to prospit after ascending, I need your assistance**

**GA: You are a Prospit dreamer?**

**GA: I assumed you were Derse**

**YE: You assumed correctly**

**YE: There is a shuttle that runs between the planets in peacetime**

**YE: I hitched a ride**

**GA: Oh, very well, then**

**GA: And you, Dean?**

**HM: Your planet is the land of Frost and Myths**

**HM: and also, your quest bed is located under the one tree not touched by frost**

**HM: Sorry, void players are cryptic as fuck**

**HM: it is the biggest in the forest**

**HM: I think**

**GA: Is that all?**

**YE: Yes**

**HM: yep**

**GA: then I assume we are done, for now.**

 

 **gallowsAuxiliatrix (GA)** **has cease trolling** **yuriEnthusiast (YE)**

 

**HM: boi guess who’s still here**

 

You roll your eyes at the orange text on screen and make your way the land of Frost and Myths 

**Ternaya---- > be a very unhappy Troll boy**

 

You are now  **KARKAT VANTAS** you have recently ascended to god tier and thus are also the  **KNIGHT OF BLOOD** . Everyone that has spent five minutes around you is aware that you swear a fuckton and shout almost constantly. In fact, the walls of your current dwelling are double as thick as everyone else’s mostly due to your loud tendencies. Also you and your matesprit are big wrigglers about the cold so fuck that shit. 

You were sleeping peacefully before Dave so ele-fucking-gantly slapped you in the face while trying to put your phone on silent. Then, of fucking course, you had to argue with him and Davespr-  _ Dean _ .  Now you were attempting to eat breakfast in the kitchen, that’s right, you can use human terms for shit. Then you hear an ear piercing screech. Your immediate thought was the Alpha kids. Being that three out of the four of them spent their childhoods alone, they were a particularly touchy, not to mention rowdy. They were always getting into some sort of trouble, but you and the others forgive them, you personally are glad that Jane finally got them to use table manners. You elected to ignore the yelling until John’s dumbass hood zoomed past the kitchen window and toward Dirk and Jake’s house. Oh fuck. Those two better not have started another fire, for fuck’s sake that’d be the third one this month. The combination of Jake, Dirk and Roxy’s pure genius with Jane’s unbridled pranking fury had led you all to many accidents that were, simply put, fucking horrendous. 

You decided that food will wait and exit your house, Dave in tow

“I’m betting that they went ahead and built that cake robot” You look at him, not quite sure if you heard right.

“Those nookwifs are trying to build a  _ cake  _ robot”

“ They already made the blueprints, and it’s way cooler than it sounds”

“Enlighten me” you ask and he does deliver    
“Basically, its a dope ass robot that throws cake at unsuspecting birthday people” 

“Ok, but why do they need Roxy for that?” Dave smiles mischievously at you

“It’s gonna sing stayin’ alive at unholy hours of the night to alert the birthday person of it’s arrival” You groan as you reach the tall ass monstrosity that they call a home. Dirk and Jake’s house is mostly green, because orange was too ghastly to put on a house, with occasionally blotches of metal. The first one being a garage and a workroom above it. You were fairly certain that they were using gogdamned metal sheets to repair the holes left from previous incidents. You were also confused as to why the blithering fuck their bedroom was so fucking high up in a gog forsaken tower. It was actually just a turret but a fucking tall one. 

 

You climb the stairs with Dave and find almost all the other assholes already gathered inside their kitchen, Jake is on the table, still screaming, and Dirk is on a spare chair in the corner, poking something with a broom. 

You bend over and to your utter shock, there is a wiggler down there. 

It doesn’t look more than like a sweep, and holy fucking gog almighty, it’s Erisolsprite. 

The aforementioned Erisol is hissing under the table, he has Psionics, for sure, but they are purple, and he is definitely green blooded. If the ridiculous stripe in his hair is any clue, or the deformed sign on his baggy shirt.  

He has one lightning bolt horn and the other side more closely resemble Sollux’s, if he had glasses, they certainly weren’t on his face anymore. 

Suddenly, there is a green flash and Dirk no longer has a broom; all eyes are on Kanaya as she tosses it away and slides under the table. She emerges mere seconds later with the wriggler and begins to scold Dirk for scaring him.

“Gadzooks! What on gog’s green earth happened to him?!” Jake asked, finally seeing that it was indeed Erisol and not a monster. Dave was the first to propose an answer.

“Didn't Dean say that no more than one of everyone could exist at once unless they changed dramatically from the original?” You look at him, a little proud that he remembered that. Rose pitched in a thought to go alone with his previous.

“I suppose if Sollux and Eridan are to enter this world, Erisol would have to become something else or disappear entirely, by those rules. 

 

Kanaya left to find child clothes with Erisol as the rest of you begun to discuss (see: bicker endlessly) over what exactly happened. John was quoting Cage movies and generally being unhelpful, but the rest of you had some good ideas. You talked about how maybe Sollux met human Eridan and that was the cause, or how it was always possible that the game was eliminating sprites by turning them corporeal. You personally were sold on Roxy’s combination of those two ideas, the Sprites were being eliminated but only when the time called for it, like both of their parts meeting or the sprite was becoming aware of themselves as a separate entity from their halves. 

 

Then came the decision of what to do with him. Eventually, you came to the verdict that Rose and Kanaya would take him until Eridan and Sollux escaped the game. You’d do it yourself, or have Jake take him, but the Alpha kids were leaving on an expedition tomorrow and you’d be watching Becquerel. As one would assume, the new universe had it’s own first guardian, she looked like an albino Jade and was the same age as the universe, two. She had curious little green eyes and fluffy dog ears with a matching tail. Her name was Bec after the original earth’s late guardian. Jade had left her in you an jake’s custody, you had no idea why the demon spawn liked you so much. 

Kanaya reentered with Erisol in Bec’s clothes  in time to here John’s fucking dumb idea of the week.

“Hey, what if Bec teleported him to Sollux!” Everyone stared at him like a rare animal

“John you absolute fucking asslamp, do you have any idea what harley would do to us if we endangered her hellhound?” You shout, upsetting Erisol, Kanaya was prepared and gave him one of those silly no spill cups for wrigglers. Sippy cups? Yeah, those. 

John laughed and Rose slapped him in the chest, giving her best disapproving lusus look. You voice a thought that has been bothering you for a little while now.

“Does anyone know how to take care of a Psionic wriggler? Or a Seadweller? He has gills, right?” You all groan at the realization that although Kanaya has a little information on both, there is no telling what will happen with a combination of seadweller and psionics. 

You guys have a lot of fucking work to do, don’t you? 


	10. KARKAT----> Be Mentally unstable Moirail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B O N U S C H A P T E R
> 
> So this isn't the 4/13 special chapter but I wanted the chapter 11 to be the bonus chapter so this is up today and another will come on Thursday.  
> (also this is a short one whoops)

Your Name is **GaMzEe MaKaRa** and you have no motherfucking idea what to do now. But that’s not that unusual.

 

After escaping both sburb the your cold food storage container prison, you were finally free of motherfuckin Aranea. You have to admit, it’s a lot of dedication to control someone for almost two whole sweeps. Especially when they are a highblood, and she was still using her abilities for other fuckin nonsese at the same time. You’d be impressed if you didn’t hate her.

 

When you entered the new universe, the bitch gave you one more fucking gift, your sanity. Apparently she has the power to do that. You know all too much now, you know so much it hurts. You sometimes wake up and beg the Other You to stop killing them, to leave Nepeta and Equius alone. You never succeed, though, what happened can't be fucking changed, you tried. You don’t really talk to Karkat, you love your pale bro a motherfucking ton, but, you don’t really deserve that. To make things worse, Vriska has people believing that you tried to kill her. Which you did, but you didn’t actually hurt her.

 

Three weeks ago, Vriska was getting close to you. You have the Handmaiden’s wands, you do not know how Aranea got them; or why you needed to do her dirty work with them and coordinate other people’s lives. But you have them, and you use them to jump into other timelines or dimensions when you really need to lose Vriska. She’s been hunting you for a while and she’s getting creepy fuckin good at it. This time was different, though. You had a bad habit of sleeping at inopportune times, this was motherfuckin definently not the time to sleep. But you did and she had gotten _really fucking close_ this time. She grabbed on to you right as you were leaping through yet another portal.  

 

What she _didn’t_ know is that you were hunting Gamzee as well. Wait, why  the mother fuck were you hunting yourself? Well, that was actually a easier to explain part of your life, which is a little (a lottle) sad. You were the only _sane_ Gamzee, but there were thousands of others. You suspect that they have been getting culled by some fucking thing other than you, because they are dropping like flies. Hey! That brings you right up to what you have been doing all this fucking time! You have been culling left over Gamzees from alternate timelines. They can’t seem to find Earth C (thank the messiah himself) but they do wander about the other timelines and you can’t leave those fuckers around to fuck shit up. But when Vriska grabbed on, you had jumped into the timeline John had altered. The one where Kanaya chainsawed you, and you killed her too. Another Gamzee had made it into the same timeline (being that the one from this one was dead) and attacked her, they never seemed to attack you, though. So you protected her, after she was beaten within an inch of her life. Hey, you were strong, but other you had the fuckin advantage, he was still insane. You... You weren’t doing so fuckin well after that. There were still some days when you lose yourself, not for long, but it was always motherfucking terrifying. On those days, you go back to what you were, Aranea’s fuckin puppet; and your primary objective was to cause havoc. That’s when you prototyped a sprite, they were always a real good way to make some trouble for everyone. You called her Kanrezi, but you have a feeling that the name won’t stick.

 

You would have been trapped in the other sburb session, like everyone else that was in there, but the Handmaiden’s wands were much more powerful than Aradia’s whip, at least for now. That and you had a lot of practice escaping sburb sessions.

As for right now? You are in Can town’s center, and you have found your quest bed. You waltz over to it’s sickening purple. You felt so _wrong_ like you could never really become God Tier, you didn’t deserve it. But you were driven by a higher power, the Wands had spoken, in dreamlike visions you were certain were righteous.

They promised you happiness, though you were not sure in what form, all you had to do was follow their command. Although you had been skeptical at first, you learned to trust the Handmaiden, it was her, speaking through them, and she never led you to anything dark or cruel like Aranea or your own Gog forsaken mind. Well, kidnapping was currently on the agenda but it was for the best.   

You sit upon the bed, it is rock hard, you are not surprised. You wonder how you are going to off yourself, after all, you need to die to become God Tier. Well, your clubs weren’t going to do it, hmm, Sopor overdose? Oh motherfucking no, you swore that shit the fuck off. It got you in this mess and it was not going to control you again.

You look up at the tree that is blocking your view of the sky. It’s gnarled limb obscuring your sight to a familiar group of stars, Taurus. But what Taurus isn’t in this universe, at least not yet, Tav isn’t here. As you think about this abnormality, the limb snaps off the tree, and you don’t have time to move as it falls directly onto your head.

 

**Gamzee---- > Ascend**

 

You are now the **Bard of Rage** and you stand where your corpse was lying just moments ago. You look at Vriska, she is still out cold, has been for nearly 8 hours. You think she would appreciate the irony. You tear off the cod piece and your hat, capatchaloging them in your Miracles sylladex. They make you look like a fucking jackass. You grab Vriska and heave her over your shoulder, tomorrow's a big day, you have a wriggler to catch. You do not stop to look at Taurus gleaming brightly overhead as you find a good place to hide in the forest.  


	11. Gamzee----> be a Flighty Broad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIFE GOT BUSY REAL FAST AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT HOLY FUCK BALLS MAN.

 

  
Your name is  **ROSE LALONDE** and apparently, you are even bigger of a sappy lesbian than you realised. You are 18 years old and although you are a goddess who has survived the apocalypse as a child that is wedded to a vampire goddess, you have never seen anything quite as delightful as the sight before you. You woke up in the wee hours of the morning to shuffling as Kanaya returned to bed, but what you didn’t realised in your sleepy haze, was that she has brought Erisol with her. Now, mostly awake, you see her on the right side of the bed, holding the small troll close and you think, “yeah, we need to have kids”. You are fairly certain you could do it, ectobiology and all, but you will wait, Kanaya wants to be at least ten sweeps before children. You have counted the days until her 21 first birthday and tell her the countdown each time her birthday rolls around. It is about seven a.m. the time your bedside clock was set for. It was determined that today, you would all have yet another meeting in the town square to discuss matters pertaining to the recent events. In actuality, you would not be outside until after the meeting. You all would be in the throne room, as the  name would suggest, it is a room decorated with sixteen beautiful thrones. Of course, during normal meetings, there were two chairs left open, Vriska’s, for her rare visits and Gamzee’s. His was only really there for Karkat’s sake. However, on this day, Jade, Terezi, Sollux, and Aradia’s chairs would also be empty. Only ten of the thrones would have angsty teens in them today. You used to have meetings that only concerned members of your group (when discussing matters of a more national variety, the thrones were used to display a form of unity to your subjects) you had them in the grass, sitting in what barely passed as a circle. But, sitting in the thrones that were placed according to your personal preferences made it a lot harder to get into fist fights with the asshat across the room. For instance, you, Dave, Karkat and Kanaya were all far from the windows, because you felt most comfortable next to each other and Dave was sensitive to the sun. It was a rather practical system, the lot of you had an terrible amount of arguments. You yourself had almost come to blows with Terezi over some long forgotten and trivial matter. You fight with her the most often, Kanaya says it’s because Seers dislike being wrong or challenged, she is right. 

You get out of bed and tap her shoulder, she is a very light sleeper and wakes quickly.

“I’ll start the coffee” You say softly, expecting that she will spend a good ten minutes dressing Erisol and attempting to find her Godtier pajamas before you remind her that she capatchalogued them in an effort to not lose them in your disastrous house. You all want to look formal as you enter the Hall, afterall, reporters will catch wind really quickly that you are meeting. 

Ah, but not much has been said of the world you live in, has there? 

You live in what is most similar to the continental United States in position on the globe. There are 31 states, much more like islands with small distances almost swimmable that range in size, the biggest is relative to Texas, and it’s your location. You call it Skaia and it is a fitting name. Surrounded by many high cliffs, most of it’s towns are situated in almost mountainous territory and look almost as if they are in the sky. The first twelve states are all named after the troll’s signs in blood color order. The other were named by you humans. Your island is called Delphi, you thought a Seer’s island ought to named after a legendary home of prophecies. Skaia was actually named by Calliope, the only one without an island at that point, she said that she thought it was better than her original idea of naming it Prospit. You all lived in a rather large gated community of just you gods outside of a city called Xavier, the community was called Can Town, of course. When you entered the universe, there was much turmoil in the until recently unexplored land now called the Galactic States of Metrilla. Metrilla was the western part of Earth C, according to it’s inhabitants, and rather empty, for that matter. However, eight gods and 5 ( not counting Vriska due to her frequent absence)war hardened trolls were quick to take over. Honestly, they were very willing for a new ruler and accepted you willingly after you killed their tyrant of a emperor. He was cake compared to the Condesce. 

You had done most of this reminiscing while making rather delectable caffeinated bean juice. Kanaya comes down the stairs as you pour the coffee. Her cup was a black mug with glittery jade words that read “I sparkle in the sunlight” and yours was a equally humorous with smaller print that said “ I like my men like I like my tea, I drink coffee” Kanaya sets Erisol on a borrowed highchair that you got from Jade’s house. Little Becquerel had quadruple of almost everything, she often stayed with which ever uncle or aunt had recently earned her favor when Jade went on expeditions. Often enough it was Jane and Roxy, since they were more capable of caring for a toddler than Jake and Dirk. Usually, John was a last resort, meaning all the other “derp clan” as Dave called them, were out of town. 

John had babysat her all of three times, the last ended when Bec threw a tantrum that landed John in space along with half his furniture. You and Kanaya had her for the rest of the week while he desperately tried to save his belongings.

You’d babysit her more often, but Bec often ceased to obey anyone not being her mother, which is why they used her poor eyesight and refusal to where her glasses most the time against her. Bec couldn’t completely tell the difference between John or Jake in a wig compared to Jade. Admittedly, they all looked very similar. Kanaya silently begun to make breakfast and you continued doctoring your drinks. You dumped two five hour energy drinks into your cup, you were amazed that this universe managed to not have a stable government upon your arrival but still managed to invent energy drinks. She looked at you, exasperated at your bad habits. You often had trouble turning your thoughts off at night and it made for very restless sleep, even when you finally passed out. You shoot her the same look as she passes you a violet colored baggie. It’s blood, she drinks blood in her coffee. She doesn’t  _ need  _ to drink blood, but she sure as fuck likes it. If you weren’t rich goddess-queens, you’d complain about how expensive violet blood was. But it was her favorite and always available for the right (see;outrageous)  price. 

As it turned out, there were many Rainbow Drinkers on this planet, and there was a quick way to make money as well, sell your blood so hungry Jades could drink it like fucking caprisuns. Or in Kanaya’s case, in coffee.  

You pour the thick violet blood into the cup and pretend, not for the first time, that it doesn’t freak even you out a little. You then migrate over to the table where Erisol seems to be developing a resting bitch face, being that he is tiny and rather adorable, it does not have the expected effect. 

“What do you suppose he’ll like to eat?” Kanaya asks you and look at her in slight confusion. 

“Don’t you know what Seadwellers or Psiionics usually eat?” comes your retort

“No, well, yes, Seadwellers are largerly carnivorous and yellow bloods-especially Psiionics quite enjoy honey and other light or sweet foods, but this is a combination and sprites don’t eat so I have not as much as I’d like to reference upon.” You think about this and find a reasonable solution

“We still have mackerel from Jake and John’s last fishing trip with Crocker Pop; perhaps you could warm that up for him?” You don’t know when you all started referring to Jane’s father as Crocker Pop, all you did know was that he had basically adopted all of you. 

As if an idea sprung in her head all of the sudden, and she thunked your plate of eggs onto the table before rushing around the room for a few minutes. Finally, she settled and showed her masterpiece. She had found the scones Jane brought over to you a few days ago and smothered a biscuit in honey, then she added the mackerel. Proud of her creation, she plopped it and a fork in front of Erisol and watched. He sat there for a little, seemingly unnerved by the food, but then, he smashed together some fish with the biscuit and jammed it into his mouth. He seemed to appreciate the taste and continued shoving various items from the plate together and leaving little time to breathe. You watched in out right fascination for a minute before going back to your own food. Kanaya beamed next to you and you could not help but smile. 

An hour and several jumpscares from Kanaya’s poorly positioned mannequins, you were at the gate of the hall, and the games had begun. Since you all wanted to attend this meeting, there would be a truly terrifying battle of rock, paper scissors. The two losers would babysit Bec and Erisol outside, as per the rules. It was usually only Bec, but oh well, one more kid wasn’t going to kill anyone. You and Kanaya won almost all the rounds you played, except when paired against the admirable foes, Davekat(the ship name pissed them off and was very fun to use); seeing as they were the only ones who knew you both well enough to predict your moves. You came to a draw with them, as always. Dirk and Jake (unsurprisingly) lost. The two of them lost more than anyone else, even the mayor was better at it. Probably due to Jake always almost throwing early and giving the other time to see what he was going to do. Not to mention the fact that Dirk had the social skills of a sock and could never predict jack shit. 

You saunter into the throne room on Kanaya’s arm, veering left toward the far corner. There, was a glistening purple chair, surrounded but little blue and gold clouds, next to it, was a obsidian chair with rubies all over the chair arms and the top, two perfect jade spirals in the shape of her horns jutted out from the top. The red chair of gears and the rusted one that looked like it was bleeding on your chair’s right were occupied by Karkat and Dave’s bickering asses. You sit upon your throne and are greeted by a small black cat jumping into your lap; Mutie often wandered the hall instead of your home and was always first in the room when you all convened, you pet him softly and are soon dragged into the drawl of yet another meeting full of Karkat’s shouting, Dave’s quips and Roxy’s continuous derailment of the conversation. 

  



	12. Rose ----> Be that other guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( i should start doing summaries) Gamzee kidnaps a child, Dirk and Jake are not qualified babysitters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THIS IS LATE. I KNOW. I'm not ditching, it's just that may is a fuck load of work so the chapters may be a little slower until I make it out of this hell hole commonly referred to as "school"(AP test, helping kids with photo projects, a goddamned art fair and a lot of other shit I won't bother you with). But I doubt I'll need to take a hiatus of anything so the chapters will keep rolling, I just might break for a little or be a bit late on a few chapters.

You are once again the other guy, specifically Gamzee. 

You are standing at the edge of the town square where there is a small wriggler play set. Why is it called a square when it’s really more of a circle? That’s not really important, you guess. However, your mission is very important. You are about to steal that wiggler. Man, he really is Erisol. You guess you are kind of (completely) responsible for creating him. Well, you wouldn’t have had the bodies if Eridan wasn’t such a fuck up, but who are you to talk about fucking up? 

You drugged up Vriska after she woke up again, she was not happy, almost got a scream out. You wish you could just dump her, you can’t. She is a part of the plan. 

It was simple really, the wands told you exactly what you had to do. Across the park, you would fire the wands on full blast, they would create three portals, one after another and you would fucking launch into that shit. You’d have to drop motherfuckin Vriska before the second portal, set the wriggler down after the second and drop the wands while in the last portal. Supposedly, getting lost in the time vortex created by the portal would send them back to their original owner. Not the Handmaid but instead, Damara Megido, they were originally made for her. Basically, it was a lot of sprinting and you weren’t in the best shape. You roll Spider bitch up in a motherfuckin sleeping bag and throw her over your shoulder; you look toward your little target. 

Jake is playing with Bec, pushing her on the swing and she seems very excited about this for some reason. You wonder if it's a human thing or a First Guardian thing. Then you recall that Bec is fucking human, barkbeast and first guardian so she probably makes her own motherfuckin rules. Dirk, however, is less lucky. Erisol is clearly unhappy and throwing one big fucking fit. Do they know how to care for wrigglers? You could have done a better job and you chained Calliope and Caliborn up in their hive as an infant. Dirk sticks a wriggler cup in his mouth and the boy stops crying to focus on his drink, they are 30 feet away a from your hiding stop and you can still tell that it is honey and milk. Why the fuck? Doesn’t matter, you think that now is as good a time as any. Well, actually, it’s better than good, Bec was upset and both teens turned to her, a split second was all you motherfuckin needed. 

You opened the portals far in front of you, ajusted Vriska on your shoulder, and fuckin sprinted toward the group. Dirk and his flashstepping nearly takes off your head, but you fucking dive under and manage to catch a few of Jake’s bullets. They were told to not kill you but that they probably couldn’t anyway, so they weren’t holding back much. Even with your brilliant speed and sneak attack, they still caught you. Motherfuckin Strider miracles, you figure. Still, you run, after years of experiencing shit that would have killed any fuckin  _ ab _ normal creature, a couple a metal pieces aren’t slowing you much. 

You manage to snatch Erisol and damn, kid’s got fuckin breathing bags on him, an uses ‘em like your pale bro; loudly. Before Dirk can step again, you are through the portal. Wow, that was easier than you thought it’d be. Dirk must be a little out of straight up combat with other Godtiers. Sure, you’d seen them practice together a shit ton, but it wasn’t serious. Not to fuckin mention that anyone they actually had to incapacitate was far weaker than them even in their worst condition. 

You soon find yourself on The Land of Jungles and Waves, and unceremoniously drop Vriska half in the water, and get the fuck outta there. Even though your nose isn’t as supernatural as hers, you can definenlty smell Terezi and who knows what she’ll do if she sees you with Vriska’s limp ass. You are now in a fuckin houseboat, it’s wobbly and you hate it. Sollux is asleep at a computer and desk that definently isn’t his, it’s fuckin purple. You ignore his hideous snoring and cringe worthy body postion, arms and legs splayed, his head thrown back, to drop Erisol in his lap. You tip toe to the next portal in effort to not wake up the fidgeting human on the respite square in the corner. You hop into in an loose the wands, as per orders, and land on your mother fucking head. Ow.

 

Welp, you’re gonna be unconscious for a long ass time, specifically an entire 24 hours, time to be someone else. Let’s check in on Dean, it’s been awhile. 

 


	13. Dean----> why the fuck aren’t you Godtier.

You have had a lot to fucking deal with the last three days ok? Not only have you been here for a full 36 hours and twelves minutes (even though you probably aren’t a Time player anymore, your internal clock works fine) and barely done anything, but, Hal busted out sometime last night, you can’t find him. You were going to go Godtier two days ago when Jade appeared, she had been at Tavion’s previously, but had elected to share some information with you and thus had dropped in for a visit. She had spoken to Rose who hypothesised that after becoming Godtier, you and the other copies were set in stone, the game wouldn’t be able to get rid of you for being too much like your originals because you would have a different title (EX: Knight of Life instead of Time) as far as it was concerned. But you wouldn’t have your sprite knowledge, secrets that although were mainly specific to your original session but may still be of use, you refuse to risk that information until absolutely necessary, so you had Jade shrink your quest bed and now it’s in your fucking jeans pocket.

Right now, you are asleep, Terezi made Vriska knock you out after she woke up (where and how Terezi found her, you still don’t know or understand.)  Basically, you told them to stay put, but they wanted to meddle, as always, and decided to conk you out and go to Ternaya’s world. 

You woke up on Derse, and damn, you missed it, the purple silk on your skin and the lavish bedroom of your princely self. You look out your window for other turrets, particularly ones that might hold your sibling. You fly out and over to the nearest, disturbing a dersite who is rather ruffled by your appearance, before going to a taller one. Inside is a long empty bed, some books, an old looking desk and a beautiful mural on the wall. It chronicles a flee from a creature you can’t identify, you see a girl, no, it has to be Rose, holding a bloody body over a quest bed along with a humorous image of Sollux and a kid. The one at the end shows you being shoved by an unfinished person and falling to your death. Heavy as fuck man. You ignore the sinking feeling in your gut and return to investigating Rose’s books and desk. When she died before the game, did she wake up on Derse and leave? You had no clue. You find a note on the desk, it is dusty and the writing is smeared by tear streaks, it tells you to go too Derse:a history of warfare. You locate the book and read yet another (more clear) note from inside, it reads, in purple cursive 

“ Dean, if you are reading this, I have been dead for months, possibly years, I am heading to Prospit to safeguard the future's armory, do not be afraid of my paintings, they are possibilities not certainties. Oh,and for the sake of future me, I have taken you and Hal’s advice and changed my name

Love, Roux (like Row the boat, no, it’s not obnoxious Dean) “

 

You smile ear to ear, that incredible bitch had gone and pulled a Jade. She was probably a sprite right now, waiting for her Quest bed to go Godtier. But wait, you didn’t have her body? Um. You hoped she had an idea because you sure as hell didn’t

You wander over to the bed and decide it’s probably time to wake up. Eh, Rose, um,  _ Roux _ (who’s gonna tell her that’s edgy? not you)  isn’t going to be using the bed for a while, you think it’s a good enough place to leave your dreamself for now. 

  
  


**Dean---- > get back to playing the game, will you? **

 

You wake up in your room again and almost immediately start packing the fuck up. You needed to get outta here. Of course, you don’t have your sword, but you’ll figure it out you guess. You have to go to Vanesa’s world and kick her ass into to gear. 

Wait? What was that noise? You turn to the side and feel the blood rush from your body, an eardrum rupturing shriek chills you to the bone. The thing is just an empty skull with a winding, skeletal tail, it’s form is gigantic compared to you, how it got in here, you don’t know, you are about to run as it’s jaw unhinges, but someone grabs your shirt and yanks you back.

 

**You temporarily cannot be Dean Strider----- > Be Kankri Vantas**

 

Your name is Kankri Vantas and you have more in common with Karkat than you will ever care to admit. Mostly in the form of your various interests.

You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS. You should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, and unlike your dancestor, you are very much so. You are an amazing artist, but a NOTORIOUSLY VERY INSECURE about it. Which is juat as well because no one but Porrim is ever around to see it. This is probably due to your lack of an ability TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. When you were younger and considerably less mature, you had aspired to join the ranks of the most lethal members of your society, the THRESHECUTIONERS. You also had a bad habit OF SHOUTING CONSTANTLY AND BEING VIGOROUSLY ANGRY. You have since mellowed out quite a bit and find it rather annoying that your friends aren’t really you friends but instead people who have dealt with your shit for several thousand sweeps. You also have the SELFESTEEM OF A FUCKING BRICK but you aren’t about to say that out loud. You are finding, much like the others, that your previously repressed emotions are rearing their rather ugly heads, you don’t know how much control you have left. 

 

**KANKRI---- > This isn’t your hive? **

As you recently noticed, although the decor and furniture of the hive remain intensely familiar to you and Porrim’s hive, the clothes and other personal effects are not yours. You feel rather uncomfortable, you are in Karkat’s clothes and surprisingly, they are a quite baggy on you. Considering that Karkat is only a little taller and more toned than you, you assume that he likes to wear clothes much too large for him. You also assume that this annoys Kanaya to no end. 

Currently, you are on the Land Of Pulse and Heat, unlike Karkat’s planet, your’s is quite beautiful, but it is intensely hot and you are sweating like an oinkbeast. You and the others divided up into groups before heading to your separate worlds. Before the scratch, Porrim had been harboring an enormous red crush on Damara, but when Meulin used her abilities to determine its chances of success, she came up completely neutral. Porrim was far too busy at the time for uncertainties and set it aside, but now that those emotions you all had long lost were back, she was tailing after her like a young barkbeast. You’d find it cute but her, Cronus and Damara teamed up and left you and Meenah by yourselves. Thus how you convinced her that going with you was more interesting than waiting for Cronus to get tired of Damara and Porrim’s gross flirting and messing with him for not having a quadrant. 

“So please fuckin shell me you are hot too” Meenah’s dialect had started evening out since you woke up, she had mumbled something earlier about not wanting to sound like  _ her.  _ But you weren’t entirely sure who she meant.  You nod and she takes this as a cue to start taking off her pants.

“MEENAH, WHAT?” you shout, you didn’t mean to but, really though.

“Relax, Krabby I’m just gonna cut this shit up.” Sure enough, she whips out some scissors and cuts the legs the legs off. You are left wondering a) why she has scissors and b) why she got to keep  _ her _ normal clothes, but soon she is just staring at you.

“Yo Krab cakes, I asked you if you want me to cut up your’s too” Apparently you had zoned out a lot longer than you thought. Not only were her pants now very short, her top had the sleeves cut off and the arm holes were far larger than necessary. You wanted to say no, but honestly, Karkat’s  wardrobe was not built for this climate. You reluctantly give her your clothes and stand awkwardly in your underwear, not that she’s looking. She’s very focused on her cutting. Soon she has cut your clothes in a similar fashion, even going so far as to cut part of the back out in the shape of your sign. You actually rather like it, and it is much more comfortable. 

You had your doubts about partnering with Meenah, but maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you originally thought

 

**KANKRI---- > BE MEENAH**

 

You are once again Meenah and you are guilty of something. You feel really bad about it. It being the execution of the Signless. You have been thinking a lot since you woke up, and how fuckin off her meds the Condesce was. You  _ idolized  _ her, you could’ve easily been her pawn. But what you saw as glory and power, the endless worshipers, was not what it was. The Condesce only had fear and trolls desperate to survive in the hellscape she led too proudly to their own doom. What the fuck were you thinking? You weren’t is the point. You were a ghost, a shell (and no, that wasn’t a pun) of who you were. You hadn’t been entirely crappy on Beforus, you used to be Moirails with Cronus, but when you were 7 sweeps, you fuckin lost it. You got mad and you hurt him. You were never a good match anyway, always you complaining about his wizard obsession and him pacifying your worries about inheriting the throne. 

After the first two days of running around, contacting the other session and Earth C, planning how you all were going to go Godtier, you started having these guilt-racking thoughts. Mostly about the Condesce’s rule, but also about the Signless. You all saw how the ancestors lived and died, felt their pain as they left the world. You had thought everyone had been exaggerating about that, but the scar on your chest from you clawing at the pain said otherwise. Back to the point. The worst part was when the Signless died, he was the first and you didn’t know what to do, Kankri was screaming and none of you could stop it, the look on Porrim’s face was something you didn’t think could happen to someone like her, complete and utter fear. You never want to see the strong troll you’d known for millennia cry like a wriggler ever again. 

The Condesce, no, you need to stop separating yourself from her, she is you, YOU could have stopped it, but you did not. Some would say that you are taking it too far, but you doubt it. Feferi wouldn’t have done it, the Beforean queen, Her Eternal Radiance would have invited him for tea, not allow his murder in front of his quadrants and lusus. 

Needless to say, you were very much beginning to pity Kankri, not in a red way, gog no, you were still hung up on Vriska there, but in pale way.  You decided that it’d be easiest to satisfy the feeling by just being nicer to him, without revealing your true intentions for awhile. Because, you can’t just go the easy way and say you’re pale for him, can you?

You have been following him for a long time and you are convinced he has no idea where he’s going, this might take a bit

Let’s check in somewhere else

 


	14. MEENAH----> BE PUPA PAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (someone kill me my life is too busy right now take this shitty chapter please)

Your name is  **TAVION NAJERA** and if you  have to fix your goddamned roof one more time, you are gonna fucking lose it. 

You aren’t that surprised by your second extraterrestrial visitor. Well, you screamed, but that was because he came from the damn roof, and his horns made the pre existing hole bigger. You had Jade over for not even a full day before she bolted right out of there. You guess it was just as well, although you liked her a lot, you couldn’t help but feel a little awkward around her, maybe it was the dog ears, it was admittedly most likely the dog ears. It most certainly had nothing to do with an odd but rather sad accident you caused involving her guardian. Nope, nothing. 

Gamzee had been asleep for a full day before he began to regain consciousness. You got his name out of him at one point when he was almost awake before he crashed again. But now, he is actually awake and you are definitely going to interrogate him. 

“So, you’re Gamzee, right?” you lean against the back of your chair, across from him on the couch. 

“Yeah, I am;” he cocked his head to the side, a tangled lock of black hair falling in his face “did I tell you that or somethin?” you nod in response and he seems to take this as a reasonable answer. 

“Do you want me to call Dean?” he looked confused and you remembered that Jade hadn’t recognised him as Dean either, you correct yourself accordingly “ I think you guys know him has Davesprite?” the previously half lidded eyes shot open and suddenly he is begging you not to call him.

“Please, you don’t know what they’ll do to me, I won’t get to fix nothin.” he has moved closer to you and you are a little afraid. 

“Ok ok” you stand up, hands up in surrender “but I need to know why I’m keeping secrets from my friends.” 

He sighs “fair enough, but can I tell you a little later?” You guess that’s all right and decide to use the extra hands.

“Sure, but you have to help me with my plants” you say, gesturing for him to follow as you walk toward the kitchen. 

 

**TAVION---- > BE ELIJAH**

 

You aren’t sure what's more terrifying, that fact that Sollux can sleep sitting up in a chair and snores louder than your dad used to or the fact that there is a little grey child sleeping in his lap. You guess the kid is more frightening. You reach over to tap him, he doesn’t stir. You move behind the desk chair and poke him, still no reaction. Fearing that you’ll wake the child, you move next to his head, leaning on the desk chair and whisper

.

“Hey, Sol” You see no reaction in the troll. You are starting to get annoyed. You move close to his ear and say, a bit louder “ Sol?” He doesn’t move. Fed up with this, you slap him. Welp, that worked.

“WHAT THE FUCK ED?” he screams, he wakes up the kid and it begins to cry, he notices it. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ITH THITH?” he screams, bordering on hysterical. You look  him calmly, still leaning on the top of the chair and respond.

“It appears to be a troll kid”

He makes an ungodly noise and says something you assume is in his language before using his weird powers to fucking launch the kid out of his lap. A cup from the desk goes with it and drenches the still crying kid, you dive and catch him before he crashes to his eminent death.

You are now a little sore, on the ground and Sollux has pulled his legs to his chest, spinning in the chair. 

 

**ELIJAH----- > HAVE A PLOT CONVENIENT TIME SKIP.**

 

You are now a few hours down the line and you have had some interesting experiences; they happened as follows:

  * Contacting Sollux’s friend Kanaya (or KN as he calls , but you think Kan is a better nickname) and asking her about this shit
  * Finding out that the troll kid is a he and used to be a sprite form of Sollux and this Eridan guy that Sollux called you before
  * He can’t leave
  * You and Sollux are probably best equipped to handle him ( pfffffft sure) 
  * He has Sollux’s weird powers (psiionics, whatever) 
  * He hates baths.



 

That last one is the thing that you are doing right now. With rubber gloves. Because electric toddlers don’t like water even if they have fuckin gills. 

Sol doped him up with honey a little bit ago and way more than he should have, instead of calming him down, he’s just fuckin asleep. 

“So I think we ought to name him” You say, scrubbing the soda Sol accidentally dumped on him out of his hair.

“But why?” He says, not even looking up from his phone, something about talking to his “moirail” which is apparently not alien girlfriend because he got angry when you called her that.

“Um, because ‘Erisolsprite’ isn’t a name any kid should have to live with?” You were sure this was a no brainer. 

“Thure, whatever ED” He looks up sharply and adds quickly” ath long ath it’th exactly thix letterth” you stare at him, prompting an explaination, he sighs and delivers”It’th a troll thing, firtht and latht nameth mutht be exactly twelve letterth in total, thix for each name.” He puts his phone down and leans over the still sleeping kid.

“ Are you thure he won’t drown?” He looks a little worried as you submerge him completely, bubbles rise from his sides and neck.

“Tho I gueth the gillth work” you nod, proud it actually worked and think of six letter names. Trolls have a weird thing with stars, you noticed. You have got just the thing.

“How ‘bout we name him Etamin, it’s the alpha star of Draco” you say, he looks conficted.

“What?” 

“Well,  Draco ith a lime blood thign”

“So?” Troll bullshit is confusing.

“We don’t uthe other colorth thignth”

“Sol I don’t mean to alarm you, but he  _ is  _ lime blood, if the lime stripe in his hair, his lime mouth or his lime eyes are any indication” You know that it’s not normal for trolls to have colored eyes this early but he wasn’t a normal troll either. Sollux’s eyes widen and he says to yu 

“ED, I think thith is, we, I think we thtarted a color rethurgence” 

“What the hell does that mean” 

“It meanth that lime bloodth might be coming back, they’re extinct ED, we don’t even know who the latht one wath” 

This seems like an excellent time to check in with Dean


	15. DEAN-----> WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the accidental hiatus, Graduation was living hell and I only recently got back online actively. I should probably mention that this is only part one of what I've got planned. Next it''l branch off a little and make it easier to keep track of where everything is. I might write some ancestor stuff too.

You are once again Dean and you are very afraid, not because you were inches from death, but because you were kidnapped. You pull off your shades in a futile attempt to see into the dark.   
“Why in the blessed frog is it so dark in here?” a feminine, british and familiar voice filled the emptiness, you feel a dash of hope and call out for her as you stand   
“Calliope” you swing your arm out and someone catches it.  
“I am most certainly not Calliope” the voice giggles, the light comes on.  
She is definitely not Callie. She has short black hair and skin a few shades darker than Calliope. Her cerulean eyes match the spirals on her cheeks and most of her clothing seemed to be a tint or shade of the same color. She was about a head shorter than you and yet, her face’s odd structure unsettled you. You are unsure of what the fuck is going on and proceed to voice this.

“Who the fuck and why the fuck?” You demand as she releases your arm.

“I am Andromeda, and you were in danger, Davesprite.” She stands back from you and waits, expecting a response.

“How do you-” She cuts you off, wow, prompting you to speak then interrupting you. You don’t appreciate the irony

“Let me be quick, Cherubs were not a vast species in any of the previous universes because they did not participate in Sburb, only those who contribute to the creation of a universe are granted prominent roles in it. Because of your Calliope and Caliborn, I am here, whether they meant to or not, they have brought back a dying breed. However, as much as I would love to delve into Cherub society or lack-thereof, there are much more pressing matters. Have you digested what I have said so far? “ You nod and open your mouth to respond, but she has already spun off again.

“I will make this clear, Caliborn is not dead, you cannot kill a Lord nor Muse, they will always find their way back to life. Caliborn exists as that creature you saw earlier. He relies on very sharp sight and that alone, your session really did a number on him, he cannot smell nor hear. He must eat God Tiers to regain physical form, he must have one of every aspect and he is closer than I would like. He has . I have already texted your group and the “dancestors” whoever they may be, and informed them to take off their Godtier Pajamas after Ascension. 

You look at her, she was so small and although you knew she had a good grip from when she caught your arm, you also can’t believe someone so dainty could have fought all this way by herself. 

You run your hand through your hair “Ok,but how did you find me, or find any of this out?” 

She cocks her head to the side “Well, not alone, as you seem to have assumed,” she paused as four other figures emerged from the door she entered from “and, you are not the only ones who can ascend to god tier.” his vision started to fade out as he registered the void symbol dangling about her neck. 

 

DEAN-------> BE MM

 

You are once again Case, Matrix Mayhem, wow, it’s been awhile, what have you been up to?   
You are now both Hal and YE’s Server player. Which sucks ass. YE has already defeated her denizen and gone Godtier. It took you like a year to do that, what the fuck? Hal hasn’t moved much. You think. He disappears for a few seconds every now and then.   
Greg has been on edge all day, he keeps tottering over to the window upstairs. Most of your meteor hideout is under ground, the only upstairs part being the produce section and the pool. You still don’t know why there is a pool. You DO know why there is an indoor garden, lots of alchemitizing and painful lifting on your part with added concern from Greg. You stride over to the window and notice the thing he is watching, A little purple bundle. Remnants from Derse or Prospit?   
You move toward the door and Greg stops you, pulling on your boxers; what, it’s not like there is anyone around to see you in them. You ignore his antics and open the door, outer space isn’t anywhere near as deadly in the game, it’s basically just air and occasional stars. Well, gravity is only kinda a thing. You always feel like you’re moon walking out here. Greg hisses and retreats back inside, weird, he loves bouncing out here normally. The dusty meteor surface stirs as your bare feet crunch down on it. A cloud of gray dust fill. the air as you hop up. You land a few meters away from the bundle. A few more jumps and you land next to it. You get your weapon out of your sylladex. You have the jeweled staff from your planet’s last quest. You love it. It’s really just a long stick with blue and green gems cluttered at the end. You use it to prod the bundle and are taken aback when it actually moves. You let out a very manly squeak and are considering running/ floating back to the door. Then, it surprises you, a little black carapacian peaks their head out, they do not look friendly, but you can’t just leave them, can you? You flip the cloth off of them to get a better look. They are beaten and tired, wearing rags that hung off of them like a burlap sack.. Interestingly, they have some hair, light gray in a bob cut, cute. You know you have to take them inside, you are sure Greg will have a fit. They could barely struggle as you picked them up. 

You get them inside, much to Greg’s displeasure, must be a dersite, you think. You did all the same things you did for Greg when he arrived in a similar condition, bathed them, alechemitized them new clothes and gave them a name, Madame Madalynn. You asked them if they had a gender, some carapaces really didn’t give two shits about it, others; like Greg, did. Maddy introduced himself as male and you didn’t bother changing the name, he didn’t know it was feminine, and probably wouldn’t can if he did.

He didn’t like Greg, Greg felt like wise. You may have gotten yourself into more than you can handle


	16. CASE====> BE HORSE FUCKER, THE OLDER ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M sOrRY  
> I'll try to better I SWEAR

You are now Horuss Zahhak, often referred to as ‘horse’ or ‘equine fucker’, the humans call you “Brony #2” it’s very rude and you very much dislike it. But it takes a STRONG person to ignore the name calling and continue with your day. Currently, you are about to do something very stupid, you are going to approach the subject of your boyfriend and your failing relationship, to your moirail. Which takes a lot of courage to do, because Meulin ships you and Rufioh quite a bit.

Meulin has taken up residence in Kurloz’s room the last few days you have once again been alive. In those days, you have not talked to her anywhere as much as you would like. For normal moirails, talking a few times a day would be more than enough contact, but not you and Meulin. You two lived together for years, had been closer than any sane pair of trolls should be, Porrim once noted how codependent you tow , and you had brushed it off, unsurprisingly. But after coming back too life, you noticed an itch in the back of your thinkpan that simply hadn’t been there in centuries, the explicit need to be near Meulin, but with her nearly glued to Kurloz, attempting to reteach him to speak, you found it difficult to have more than a few short conversations at a time with her. 

Your Matespritship is much worse for wear. While you were dead, you vaguely noticed over the millennia, that Rufioh was becoming more distant, and he had a habit of looking at you in an almost, guilty, way. But, being that you were dead, and the fact that he had been nowhere near you when you had died, you had always thought he felt guilty for not being there when your collective ends came to be. Now, you aren’t too sure, in fact, you are almost certain that he is hiding something. What it is, you don’t know, that’s why you need Meulin, and since Kurloz is off papping Captor who is not pleased Cronus made it back to life as well, you figured that now would be a good time.

You enter Kurloz’s room and little about it surprises you, it is dark and circus themed, there are posters here and there, but many more pictures of him, Mituna and Latula. There are even two recuperacoons in the room, one a mustard yellow, the other a deep purple.  You feel like you are trespassing. If there was a moirallegiance that came close to the level of codependence you and Meulin used to be at, it was Kurloz and Mituna.

Meulin is on a human rectangular sleeping platform that you are aware is called a ‘bed’. It has purple and green sheets that are currently littered with Meulin’s exquisite artwork. She seems to be setting up a shipping board. 

 

“Are yo stressed?” You question, rubbing her back, she nods, chewing on her lip, shipping had easily become her number one de stressor in Sgrub and you’d come to recognise it as a plea for your attention.

 

“ I just, I feel so useless, not purrr-owrs or anything. I can’t even find my quest bed! What is Kurly gets hurt, what if mew get hurt?” She said, keeping her head down. You watched her meowbeast like ears twitch up and down, you forgot how keen her hearing was before the incident, and your deaths. She looked up at you, her olive eyes narrowed into slits.

“And what is the matter with  _ mew? _ ” It was less of a question and more of a demand, she could hear your pulse rise and flicked your forehead, obviously not taking silence as a valid answer. 

“I-I think I want to break up with Rufioh” She screams, loudly. 

 

Horuss------> be Vanessa

 

You are once again Vanessa and how the fuck does this thing work? 

You found your quest bed, it’s right yellow is really fucking awful next to the lava, which doesn’t burn for some godawful reason. Not that you tested by poking it with a stick or anything. It is warm though, really fucking warm, you don’t like it. 

You are not in a good mood, mostly because you have not a damn clue what to do now. You decide to sit on the thing and call Dean to complain. Unfortunately, he does not answer, you groan and do something you feel you’ll regret, you call Elijah. 

You had alchemized a rather handy new phone that projected the recipient of your call directly in front of you. It was like 3d face time. You sit down on the bed and decide it’s far too uncomfortable to really be called a bed as you dial Elijah. 

Elijah picked up just as you were about to throw your fucking phone in a fit of rage. You were occasionally prone to those. 

“Hey Vvan, I can’t really talk no- SOL I SWWEAR IF YOU BURN DOWN MY KITCHEN!”He said in a hurry. You roll your eyes and vaguely wonder who ‘Sol’ is, but then have your question abruptly answered.

“I’m not that fucking incompetent, jeguth fuck ED”  A odd person appeared on the projection, you had spoken to Dean and Ternaya a little about the trolls, but this was all still strange to you. The troll (or, at least you assumed he was) had an odd looking toddler strapped to his chest, a very grumpy toddler, you might add, you was point a spatula at Elijah and telling him that he knew perfectly well how to cook. You decide to interrupt them.

“Hate to break up this lover’s quarrel, but I need to talk to Elijah, and alien guy, I think your food is burning. The troll immediately spun on his heels and took the angry toddler back into the kitchen to assumably clean up his cooking disaster.

“Wwhat can I help you wwith, Van?” 

“Do you know how to use a Quest bed”

“I dunno, maybe you nap on it” he responded

“Gee, I hadn’t thought of that”

“There’s no need to be snappy, I’m just tryin ta help”

“ Well, you’re doing a real bang up job Elijah”

“Rude, but have you asked your consorts?” you frown

“You mean the little spider fucks that tried to eat me a little while ago?” 

He laughs, loudly

“Dean said some of the Consorts could be hostile, I didn’t believe him, the Angels are so nice, but I guess they  _ are _ Angels after all” you are annoyed that Elijah got nice Consorts, that hardly seemed fair, but it was fun beating the crap out of them. 

“Whatever, do you have any other brilliant ideas?” 

“Wwhy don’t you just ask dean for help?” you are about to inform him that you obviously tried that already, but the troll and toddler appear again. 

“ED, can you take EM, he’th not letting me feed him.”

“Sol, I really don’t wanna-”

“Pleathe” Elijah sighs, takes the kid and carries him back into the kitchen, Sollux looks at you.

“Dean wath in  a crap ton of trouble... he’th not now tho thop looking at me like that” You let ot a breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding. 

“About the Quetht Bed”

“How did you hear that?” you ask, preoccupied by the fact that he could have been eavesdropping. He pulls his hair away from his ear, revealing that he has four, two on each side. 

“Trollth have really great hearing compared to humans, and I have extra tho” He drops his hair and gives you an odd look.

“VK, ith it cool if I call you that?” You nod, wonder where he got the ‘k’ from

“You have to die to become god Tier; Thpecifically on your Quetht bed.” You take this in for a moment, he studies your face with his eerie eyes and looks like he wants to end the call.

“I’ve gotta go, I’m Thollux, by the way.” 

“Wait!” you shout, he proceeds to do as asked

“Why did you call me ‘VK’? There’s no K in my name”

“You remind me of thomeone I uthed to know”

“What happened to her?

“Depends on which one you mean, one of her lived, but the wath different, the hideth from uth; the other, the died.” You felt his word like ice in your chest, you ask him one more question.

“What’s her name?”

“Vriska Serket” Somehow, you hear the name clearly, as if it wasn’t mispronounced by a troll with a lisp. It rings in your head, you don’t notice that he hangs up.

You feel sick, guilty and like you have had the shit beaten out of you all at once. You squeeze your eyes shut, you feel the pain of losing an eye and an arm all over again, you watch a innocent girl die, you feel the warm bronze blood of a boy on your hands, you hear your own laughter as you watch a girl’s eyes get scorched by a blazing sun. You are such a mistake, you think, you feel cold, a sword cuts into you like butter, you can’t breathe, you feel betrayed and lost and  _ angry _ . When you open your eyes, one of those horrid little Spider Consorts at your feet, you don’t have time to move before it sinks poisonous fangs into your leg. 

VANESSA=====> ASCEND


	17. THE NARRATOR HAS TAKEN CONTROL AND DIRECTS YOU TO BEING CRONUS AMPORA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF why haven't I upd8ed this in forever why am I like this

You are now Cronus Ampora and you are actually enjoy yourself quite a bit. You went third wheeling with Damara and Porrim, leaving Meenah and Kankri to find their Quest Beds on their own. Everyone thought that you accompanied them as an attempted to get in both their pants, and wow, you were  _ so  _ not wanting to tap either of that. Firstly because everyone knows that Damara cut off Rufioh’s fucking body after their relationship ended, secondly, you’d never try and fill your red with your moirail’s flush crush. You came along with the hope that Damara would become Godtier first and you have some quality pale bonding time with Porrim. That was exactly what happened, she went Godtier, kissed Porrim (that was more or less expected too, she gets weird when she’s excited) and flew off to assumably destroy some timelines. You and Porrim were now looking for her Quest Bed, and it was  _ great _ . Reason being that no one knew about you two’s pale relation, and you’d both like to keep it that way. You had been pale for her for a while before she ended up coming into one of your dream bubbles for advice that more or less evolved into a full on feelings jam. It was nice, she understood you, she was patient and eager to listen as well as talk. She admitted that she never had a pale relationship before and that it had always been a fear of hers, you hadn’t had one since your massive failure with Meenah. Porrim and you were good at faking mild distaste for the other in public, but it was all oozing pale in private  settings. At first, the reason for hiding your new quadrant was simple enough, Porrim was worried that it would make Kankri nervous, having you openly around her all the time, constantly flirting back and forth in the cheesiest of ways. You were worried the others would mock you, or tell Porrim to leave you. She wouldn’t, but the others just didn’t know you like she did and would always assume the worst of you. 

After a while, it became like a game, “How outwardly sappy and overly cute platonic couple vibes can we send before someone catches one?” or your personal favorite “How much pale pity can I dowse Porrim in before Meulin starts to ship us?”.  But time carried on and your anxieties about telling the others grew steadily higher, to the point where you’d seldom enter a bubble if you knew Porrim and others were in it. You wonder if the reason for the both of your stress was because of your combined competitiveness or because of how long you’ve had to keep it a secret. You decide that it’s probably a good time to bring that up.

“Porrim?” you asked quietly.

“Hm?” she said noncommittally, she’s a bit distracted with the hem of her skirt, it’s gotten torn during your nature walk. 

“Por-” she continues to fiddle with it. “Porrim, stop, please” She drops the garnement and looks at you, she know you too damn well.

“ Cronus I don’t want to talk about it.” you breathe out a sigh of irritation. Unfortunately, you know all too well that Maryam stubbornness was hard to combat.

“I mean, wve’re revived now, and if how the others are acting is any indication, they’re gonna find out sooner or later. And I mean, it’s not like wve wvere all that subtle before, this’ll be wvay wvorse.  

She sighs, and you think you’ve got her convinced… mostly 

“Fine, but, let’s wait until things calm down a little, OK?” You nod and continue to follow her toward what is probably her Quest Bed (if Horuss is any good at using his powers, that is). 

And then shit got real.

Out of nowhere, the buzzbug swarms that frequented The land of Fabric and Frosts descended upon you. Porrim just  _ had  _  to have various angry insects for consorts. You ducked for cover under the cloth and lace trees, Porrim is separated from you, you can’t see her clearly, now is a good time to panic. 

You are about to make a mad dash for your moirail, after spotting her a little ways away, but you are unable to execute your plan, because one of the buggy bastards has sunk it’s stinger into you. 

**CRONUS ---- > Be PORRIM **

Your name is PORRIM MARYAM and there are only three main concerns in your life, One of them is being taken away from you. You have have two choices, follow them threw the gate they are flying your stupid (and unconcious) moirail into, even though you have no idea how you’d reach it, let alone in a timely manner. OR you could ascend to godtier. You can feel it, the Quest Bed is near.

It sounds fucking ridiculous when you say it like that, reword. 

It’s like a itch in the back of your pan, a intrusive thought that is simultaneously your own and entirely foreign. You know it’s near, and the closer you get, the more intune to Space you become. It’s pretty clear what you need to do 

**PORRIM--- > ASCEND** ****

You had long forgotten how great it felt to be a god, and how good it felt being wrapped in your Aspect's embrace. But you have more important things to do than enjoy your success at reaching godtier.

**PORRIM---- > Save your Idiot from the Consorts **


End file.
